If fatherhood was easy, there would be no fatherless children in our culture today. When we sit down and talk to people or see what is happening around us, we here the stories of fathers who were not in the home, or not present when at home. Dads who might have been there, but didn’t seem to care. All of these stories are heartbreaking to me.
But I understand why some men decide to skip town on their kids. It’s the easy thing to do. It is easier to work than to be home when your children are struggling through the day. The attention children need takes away from selfish desires. And of course, teaching our children creatively and intentionally is incredibly difficult at times.
I get it, you are afraid.
Some fathers I have talked to have shared with me their fears of fatherhood. They are afraid they are going to mess their kids up. Or push them away from them by being too intentional in their lives. I even have fears of teaching my children the wrong things out of my own failures and faults.
But being a father takes courage.
Courageous Fatherhood
While we all have fears about what we may or may not do to our children as a result of our parenting, every father needs to realize something: we must step into the role we have as a father. It is the most important role we have for our children. We must take on the role of a courageous father.
What does it mean to be a courageous father?
It means a lot of things to be honest. For me, it means being intentional with everything I do with my daughters. Sharing experiences and learning opportunities for them to grow and be known by me. More specifically though it means I have direction or a plan for everything I do with them. And that I take action.
Courageous Direction
When I am not really being intentional with my daughters, I tend to lack direction with our time. Not the scheduled, super-disciplined type direction, but more of a direction asking this question:
What is the goal for this time?
Is it purely to have fun and listen to them laugh, sing, dance, and giggle? Or is our time to learn something knew or instill a characteristic in them? The other night, as I was struggling to get the internet to work in our new house I came across a directionless moment.
We were in our kitchen, packing boxes everywhere. My four-year-old had taken a nap, so she was ready to be up super late. While I was trying to get our internet working, she was sitting on the counter waiting for anything to happen.
So, we decided to learn about Walnuts.
In our yard we have a giant walnut tree. And it is dropping tons of it’s green fruit. My daughters have been very curious about it. So, G and I took to Google to learn all about walnuts. She doesn’t like them, but she now wants to harvest this natural resource of our backyard.
We had a little direction to learn something new while working with the things around us.
Courageous Action
It isn’t enough to merely have direction for your courage. We can come up with direction all day long. However, we must take action in our courage to fulfill our duties as a father. These are the moments where we put the power into our words. It is when our deeds speak loudly and our children know they have a father’s covering.
It is in these moments when we stand up for our children. We have the hard conversations about life we would rather defer. It isn’t only in the times where we will wrestle bears to save our kids’ lives, but also in the moments when we wrestle with our frustrations and anger to show a father who is under control.
This type of action defines the memories of a child.
Nearly everyone I talk to will have a moment where a parent took courageous action or failed to do so. And when they speak of those instances, you can hear the power it has in their lives.
This is why fatherhood is a courageous act.
In our role as father, we have duties to create direction for our kids and take action in their lives in order to set the foundations of who they will be and how they interact with others.
We are not always perfect. And to be honest, I think it is OK. What we do need to be is consistent and in the moments of failure, we acknowledge those moments.
We do not have to fear fatherhood. We do need to step into who we are and who we were created to be.
Share
When has there been a moment in your life as a father where you provided courageous direction or action for your children? When was there a time your parent did? Share in the responses below.

