How one Dad did a Weekly Bible Study for Teenage Sons
Make the investment, reap the ROI
Despite my doubts, a weekly Bible study with my teenage sons turned into the best investment I ever made — for them, for me and for our future relationships as adult brothers in Christ.
When my daughter reached her teen years, I launched a father-daughter Bible study, with different but still good ROI.
The format I came up with and executed for years may not work for you. Then again, maybe it will. That’s why I’m sharing this. If only one teenage son or daughter comes closer to Jesus and their Dad through this Bible study technique, it’s worth it.
With the following step-by-step parenting instructions, you can have a successful weekly Bible study with your teenage son or daughter that will pay dividends for years to come, and perhaps an eternity.
What are the benefits?
I can only share from my own experience. Our weekly gatherings yielded fatherly ROI beyond spiritual expectations, including:
- A fun and non-preachy way to teach my children the Bible, which I believe to be God’s Word for our lives.
- A weekly vehicle to pass on my most important beliefs, values and hard-earned lessons, often in humorous and vulnerable ways.
- An intimate window into the highs and lows of my children’s lives I couldn’t get elsewhere.
- A shared experience of trust that would serve as the foundation for developing a uniquely close friendship with my “kids” as they became adults.
- A systematic way to pray for each other and track the results, blowing our minds while building our faith.
The winning formula involves food
My sons were 13 and 15 when I heard a challenging message about the power a mentoring father can have in the life of his son or daughter. A Bible study for teenage guys? Led by their father? I prayed for guidance because I never experienced or saw any father do this.
What about a Bible study over lunch at a nearby pizza joint every Saturday?
I tried to convince myself this was a really stupid and risky idea.
What if they rejected me? Could we carve out the time from our crowded Saturdays? Could our budget handle an extra $100 per month (that’s a not-so-tiny $1,200 per year)?
I recall my wife, standing at the front door of our house, listening to me hem and haw.
“It will be the best investment you ever made,” she said prophetically.
With that encouragement, I invited my teenage sons to lunch at Victor’s pizza joint, and to my surprise and delight, they accepted without protest. Our Bible study soon became a weekly routine we all looked forward to.
Try this proven format
We came up with a one-hour and 20-minute formula and format, give or take a few minutes. I illustrated that format in an infographic at the top of this article:
CHAT (20 minutes).
About sports, school, movies, whatever, as we ordered and waited for the pizza. I considered this period an “ice breaker.”
EAT (20 minutes).
It had to be something they enjoyed, which is why I succumbed to junk food. Greasy slices of pepperoni for my guys were later replaced by Chicken McNuggets, fries and a Coke for my daughter. Takes about 20 minutes.
LEARN (20 minutes).
I prepared, sometimes bringing a one-page handout. Over the years, we tried:
- Studying chapter-by-chapter through a book of the Bible, starting with the shorter and more accessible epistles, such as 1 Peter.
- Discovering biblical principles on practical themes, such as “humility.” We did a three-part series on what God says about money and four straight weeks of, “Everything you wanted to know about women, dating and marriage but are afraid to ask.”
- Discussing a Bible-focused book, such as The Purpose Driven Life, by Rick Warren or The Prayer of Jabez, by Bruce Wilkinson.
SHARE (20 minutes).
At the risk of coming across as sexist, men aren’t generally comfortable “sharing” what is happening in their lives. Ask, “How have you been?” and you get a “great,” “pretty good” or a grunt.
That’s why I came up with these three questions that most men, even teenagers, will answer honestly and concisely, providing answers that are often revealing and surprisingly vulnerable:
- What was the “high” of your week?
- What was the “low” of your week?
- How can I pray for you?
We eventually called these our “high-lows,” as in, “It’s time for some quick high-lows.”
It’s important to keep these answers confidential, which means refrain from discussing with anyone, even your wife, unless given permission. if you don’t, you will betray your teen’s trust and probably see them “clam up.”
My “secret sauce”
This is what worked for me: A mixture of humility, vulnerability and self-deprecating humor, with a dash of storytelling.
Don’t think of yourself as I once did, Charlton Heston coming down the mountain with stone tablets to give some religion to his unruly children. You are not a lecturer or a judge wielding an NIV Study Bible as your gavel.
Think of yourself as a trusted spiritual guide on a journey with your teen. The Bible is your GPS, showing you the route to take and the hazards to avoid along the way. Remember, you don’t have to have all the answers. Just keep rowing.
Your consistent presence will mean more than you realize. Plus, you have traveled some of these roads before. As a spiritual guide, you do have something valuable to offer.
Outcomes
Perhaps the greatest compliment my children, now all adults, have paid me is to live out the principles we discussed during those Saturday gatherings.
For example, both of my sons (like me) respectfully courted and eventually married women who are each, in their own unique way, a productive, industrious, independent, strong and wise “wife of noble character” like the woman described in Proverbs 31, which we studied years ago.
Day after day, my daughter consistently displays the “fruit of the Holy Spirit” we once talked about in Galatians 5: “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”
It feels great when you can tell your adult children, “Just keep doing what you’re doing!”
What my “kids” said
I asked my adult sons to shoot me an email describing what they got out of those Bible studies.
- “It was great having a Dad who was spending quality time with us and who was in tune and listening during our adolescent years,” one son said.
- “The growth I received was deeper relationships with my Dad and brother as well as a steady supplement in my relationship with the Lord,” said my other son. He added that “you have to allow time to simply be with one another without too much of an agenda. Providing free food is always a nice way to do it.”
Still paying dividends
Those teen years are long gone. But the payoff for a father’s Bible study for teenage guys lives on, perhaps to eternity.
