A hammer is a tool for building.

Take out all the guesswork

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Photo by Marek Piwnicki on Unsplash

Every day of the workweek I make breakfast for my daughters. I let my wife sleep longer than me, mostly because I am up already, but also because she takes care of our girls during the day while I work.

So, that means I make breakfast for my family before I get ready and start working.

One thing I have learned from doing this over the years is that I can’t I have a lot of guesswork going into breakfast. Otherwise, I start getting behind. So, I remove that guesswork altogether.

How do I do that?

3 Ways To Keep Your Morning Productive


Minus the tights

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Photo by Fredrick john on Unsplash

I don’t mean to brag, but I have superpowers. I didn’t always have them. Like most superheroes, there was a defining moment that brought them on. Superman got his when he traveled to a planet with a yellow sun. The Hulk was exposed to gamma radiation. Captain America was injected with a serum. Batman…

Batman didn’t get superpowers. He just got angry. But he doesn’t like to talk about it.

Anyway, what was my defining, superpower endowing moment? Having children. I’m not kidding. It legitimately gave me powers. Let me tell you about a few of them.

The whisper scream

I know, it sounds weird, but it’s actually really cool. Here’s the scenario. The baby is sleeping in the same room as me. On the other end of the house, the toddler and preschooler are reaching unacceptable decibel levels. …


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Photo by Gustavo Fring from Pexels

“For whoever finds [wisdom] finds life and obtains favor… he who fails to find [wisdom] injures himself…”

—Proverbs 8:35–36

Learning comes from one of two places: wisdom or consequences. Either we’re taught from others who already have the knowledge, or we learn from the consequences of our choices.

The more “pleasant” way to learn is from others, as lessons from consequences are often taught through pain. The emotions felt in our painful experiences imprint lessons into our psyche. Emotions are the printer, pain is the ink, our heart and mind the paper.

While it may be more pleasant to learn from others, others can fail us. We may have parents, mentors, or other positive influences that sometimes don’t take their own advice. …


And how they change your parenting

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Photo by Jack Sharp on Unsplash

It is no mystery that parenting is a hard business. Often it drives us to our knees. We love our children and we want what is best for them, but we need some real help!

I have found myself on my knees as a father way more than when I was only responsible for myself. This is a good thing and it has changed me. I want to share with you two parental prayers all dads should have on repeat. I also want to show you how praying these prayers can change the way you parent.

1. Father, forgive them

When the days of feasting had completed their cycle, Job would send and consecrate them, rising up early in the morning and offering burnt offerings according to the number of them all; for Job said, “Perhaps my sons have sinned and cursed God in their hearts.” Thus Job did continually.

(Job 1:5…


The Dad Hammer Pub

Updated: 1/1/2021

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Photo by Kari Shea on Unsplash

The Dad Hammer Pub is a publication for Dads!

This publication was born out of my search for a solid Dad Publication here on Medium. In my search, there were plenty of people who had started publications, but they weren’t creating a community around them. And so, I decided it was time to create a publication for the Dad community.

The Dad Hammer Pub is a publication focused on helping to equip fathers. This is done by fatherhood lessons and stories about great fathers in our lives.

We will focus on five topics:

  • Fatherhood
  • Parenting
  • Advice
  • Stories
  • Family

Through these five topics, we can help encourage each other, build up each other, equip each other, and grow our children into amazing people. …


The Dad I am and the Dad I thought I would be

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Photo by Jordan Rowland on Unsplash

I remember dreaming about the kind of father I would be when I had kids. You know, basically perfect. I would be just fun enough to be a cool dad, but strict enough to keep my kids in line. There were plenty of visions of front-porch conversations where I distilled pure wisdom upon them. Of course, they would hang on every word.

Well, you get the picture. I was going to have this dad thing in the bag.

I am here to tell you I was dead wrong.

I am the father of four beautiful children. I have a nine-year-old (she’s my only girl), a five-year-old, a two-year-old, and a nine-month-old. …


Men

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I like to think I can do anything and everything, all at the same time. Right now, I am cradling my newborn in one arm, jotting this article down with my other hand, while simultaneously cooking pasta for my family. Dinner is going to be late tonight. You may multitask most at work when you’re responding to emails during a meeting or at home when you’re reading a book while watching TV. But do you know why multitasking is bad? Did you even know that it is?

Multitasking seems smart but has unconscious side effects. Even a computer that can adjust to new tasks at a rapid pace cannot solely multitask. Machines reduce energy from one job to prioritize another to keep from crashing. So, why do we think we can be more efficient than a computer? Why do we think we won’t burn out?


Parenting

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The Pareto principle, or the 80/20 rule, states that 20 percent of what happens causes 80 percent of results. In business, you can track 80 percent of your revenue from only 20 percent of your customers. You might find that the same 20 percent of volunteers complete 80 percent of your church’s volunteer work.

The Pareto principle applies to almost everything, from real estate and mathematics to literature and even the clothes you wear. So, why not apply it to parenting? Here is how to parent better using the 80/20 principle.

Giving 20 percent of your attention will lead to 80 percent of quality time spent with your children.

Your children crave your attention — not all of it; just 20 percent. Your attention is split into multiple areas: work, your marriage, your kids, your side hustle. It spreads you thin. Your attention span may feel under attack when your child asks you to play, come to her softball game, or help him with his geography homework. If you ignore your kids, this creates attention-seeking behavior 80 percent of the time. Instead, offer positive attention to satisfy the 20 percent. Make eye contact, smile, ask questions, listen, and set time aside with just them. You will see their behavior change as you provide positive attention. …


Divorce

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My parents divorced when I was a child. I grew up never knowing why they separated. But in my 20s, I came upon a letter my dad had written to my mom after their divorce. Filled with emotion, he talked about how sad, hurt, and frustrated he had been with the divorce proceedings. He offered her everything, including me, his only son, knowing I would grow best in her care. Yet, he wished her well and prayed for her happiness, hoping for forgiveness after divorce.

Growing up, I knew my mom loved him deeply, but in her words, I sensed an undertone of resentment toward him. I never understood the pain they both went through. Thankfully today, they are both happily remarried. Regardless of what happened between them, they needed time to forgive. But how does one find forgiveness after divorce? …

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