Eastern Cape mayor ousted for awarding tenders in return for KFC buckets
At the time Athol Trollip was receiving his marching orders as mayor of Nelson Mandela Bay, another Eastern Cape mayor was ousted after he was found guilty of taking bribes from a road construction company.
At a council meeting that included six of his illegitimate children, French Connection Njumbuxa was forced to step down as mayor of Daggaville in the Wild Coast after he was found guilty of awarding tenders to Roads ‘R Us in return for three KFC buckets.
The council, which also includes four of his ex-wives, said the town was drowning in debt and could not afford to be doling out tenders to “fly-by-night companies in return for a bunch of chicken nuggets”.
“The road would be a welcome addition to the town as it would boost our economy,” said Palesa Njumbuxa, a council member and current wife of Njumbuxa. “But we need to award the contract in a legitimate manner. Three KFC buckets is not enough to win a tender.”
Sources said Palesa decided to oust her husband after the Zinger wings gave her the runs and kept her bedridden for three days straight.
“I will still love him and go to bed with him, but selling our town to a company willing to bribe us with just three KFC buckets is not right. We are worth more than that,” said Palesa.
Njumbuxa was trying to diversify ailing economy
The same abovementioned sources said the town with a population of 86, 53 of which are Njumbuxa’s relatives, can no longer sustain itself as the marijuana hub of South Africa.
The source said Njumbuxa was looking to bring in ayahuasca and peyote plants from South America to boost the town’s economy. He was looking to build a processing plant that would turn these plants into consumable goods. The source added the industry would improve tourism to the area, with crusty hippies from Gauteng and Coffee Bay as its main target.
“We would have supplanted Coffee Bay as South Africa’s hippie hub, which has been part of this town’s 13-year development plan.” said the source.
Best friend replaces Njumbuxa
Njumbuxa’s best friend, Ayanda Ndamase, will replace him as mayor. Ndamase said his friendship with Njumbuxa will not wane despite the circumstances.
“We have and will continue to have good relations. We will still share our beer, our cows, our dagga and our women with each other. And I will consult him when I come across major challenges, such as how I could roll the tightest joint.”
Njumbuxa said he will retire from politics and move to his palatial home just outside the town, which was built using state funds by a company that gave Njumbuxa two crates of Black Label beer and a Funko bobblehead of Game of Thrones’ Jon Snow.
