The Sound of Mucous spits his way to world glory
South Africans love their sporting heroes. Wayde van Niekerk and Chad le Clos are a couple of names that come to mind. But now the country can add a new sporting icon to its ever-growing list.
Valencio “The Sound of Mucous” Peters, 36, who hails from Florida in Johannesburg, has been crowned world champion of spitting.
Peters took the World Cup title in Barcelona, Spain, after spitting a world record distance of 19 metres, four metres more than his German counterpart, Michael Schwartz, in the final.
“It was a proud moment for me and my family. I never thought I would be world champion of anything as I am usually an unlucky guy. But I found my calling in spitting. I have made great friends among fellow spitters.”
Peters’ prize includes a trip to the spitting capital of the world, Shanghai, as well as ZWD250-trillion.
“I am using my trip to Shanghai as an opportunity to study the technique of spitters on the street. I heard they spit in all sort of places in all sorts of creative ways. There is probably a world champion on the streets somewhere there and he or she doesn’t know.”
Peters knew he was a great spitter since he was a boy. He and his friends would have spitting contests on the school grounds. Contestants were not only judged by how far they could spit, but by the colour they emitted too, with green being the highest scoring. He excelled in both versions of the sport.
“I didn’t know it at the time, but I was conditioning myself for this moment. My trainer said that years of spitting have developed a strong jaw and muscular tongue that could catapult the mucous into the air with great force.”
His spitting hero includes footballer Frank Rijkaard, who infamously spat on Rudi Voller at the 1990 FIFA World Cup.
“You can’t get better than that technique. The way he rounded his lips and puffed his cheeks as he speared a ball of mucous onto Voller’s head was sublime.”
After his trip to Shanghai, Peters will be campaigning to make spitting an Olympic sport.
“Spitting is one of the fastest growing sports in the world. Me and a bunch of world-class spitters are getting together to draw up a motivation letter explaining why it should become a recognised Olympic sport. We are athletes, too. We should also be revered and paid as well as Neymar.”
