SLAUGHTERING THE LANGUAGE OF MOLIÈRE
Can You Push a Flea With Your Thumb?
More to the point, can you say it in French?
After a lengthy break from my French friend Hélène’s Monday leçons — the timing clashed with the arrival of the infirmière to do post-operative care on my bionic knee — I’ve now rejoined the group around her dining room table all learning, to paraphrase David Sedaris, to talk pretty French one day.
The time away hasn’t helped my progress although I am probably more knowledgeable about hospital-related statements such as, “ce que je veux faire les plus, c’est faire pipi.” I learned to say this shortly after the surgery when I wasn’t allowed out of bed to use the bathroom and was desperate for a bedpan. Red plastic. Although I’d have settled for a milk jug.
Not much need for that in Hélène’s Monday morning sessions though. We were working on pronunciation. Specifically: pousse, puce, and pouce, which, to the non-French ear (mine), sounds pretty much the same.
Mais non.
Je pousse (I push) la puce (the flea) avec mon pouce (with my thumb)
“Say it, Janeese,” Hélène commands.
“Je pousse . . .” I start, but I barely get la puce out of my mouth, before Hélène holds up her hand…
