How Redefining Happiness Helps Us Find Its Lasting and Truer Version
Old Happy versus New Happy
“To be happy, discover who you are, and share yourself in ways that help other people. This is the path to happiness, and I call it New Happy.’ (Stephanie Harrison, bigthink.com)
Stephanie Harrison is the author of the book New Happy: Getting Happiness Right in a World That’s Got It Wrong.
There are two broad views about happiness. One is contingent happiness, and the other is emergent happiness.
Contingent happiness makes it an outcome that is dependent on external circumstances. We’ll be happy when acquire wealth and status. We'll be happy when we beat others in a competition or get a promotion at work.
The problem with contingent happiness is that we’ve no control over it. The joy it sparks is short-lived.
A promotion at work brings additional responsibilities, forces us to shift to a new city, involves new sources of stress and anxiety, and brings a new cantankerous boss to deal with.
All of us have a baseline level of happiness, and we always return to it after a brief burst of euphoria.
The contingent definition of happiness proves a paradox, which is that the pursuit of happiness makes us unhappy. As Viktor Frankl said, “It’s the pursuit of happiness that thwarts happiness.”
Stephanie Harrison searched vast swathes of literature, examined research, and discovered the true definition of happiness, which is the emergent view of happiness.
She found the following quotes to bolster the emergent theory of happiness:
- “There is but one solution to the intricate riddle of life, to improve ourselves and contribute to the happiness of others.” (Mary Shelly)
- “Each of us must work for his own improvement, and at the same time share a general responsibility for all humanity, our particular duty being to aid those to whom we think we can be most useful.”(Marie Curie)
- “Those who are not looking for happiness are the most likely to find it, because those who are searching forget that the surest way to be happy is to seek happiness for others.”(Martin Luther King Jr.)
The emergent view of happiness has two components:
1. Self-discovery and self-actualisation.
We have unique abilities, that often remain untapped, and we often take our unutilised strengths to our graves. This is a huge waste of human potential.
We can find out what we’re capable of by trying different things, through experimentation.
2. We should use our abilities to serve others
Self-actualisation and service are two sides of the same coin.
No ability or skill is insignificant. We underestimate how we can help others.
Even a cheerful disposition or random acts of kindness are enough to brighten up the lives of others.
When Stephanie Harrison asked many people about their definitions of happiness, most of them subscribed to the contingent philosophy.
In 2013, she felt the disillusionment of leading a work-focussed life. She met the love of her life, Alex, who was a lively and caring person.
Things fell apart when Alex developed a rare illness. Medicine and doctors failed her. Alex became a shadow of his former self. Stephanie became his full time caregiver.
She decided to put into practice what she had learned about the emergent view of happiness. She started a free newsletter called New Happy. Gradually, more and more people subscribed to her newsletter, and she brought happiness to others who badly needed it by sharing her knowledge. She offered hope and solace to people who suffered rare diseases like Alex.
Stephanie’s New Happy movement has touched the lives of over a million people. The website, thenewhappy.com, offers a free newsletter and has several articles about finding purpose in our life. There’s a daily podcast that offers bite-sized episodes to help us find real happiness.
The New Happy Theory is not merely a life philosophy; it’s a way of life, says Stephanie. According to her, redefining our definition of happiness to discover its collective underpinnings is a sure way to find a true version of it—one that endures, regardless of what we are experiencing in our lives.
Individualism has become a cult-like movement that prioritises self-interest over collective prosperity. Personal growth and material advancement are important but should not undermine collective welfare. Individual happiness is linked to collective flourishing. We must harness the good aspects of capitalism so that more people are able to share the prosperity pie.
A happy life is a meaningful life and we find meaning in helping others with our unique capabilities.
Say goodbye to the ‘Old Happy’ life and welcome the ‘New Happy’ way of life.
Thanks for reading.
