Member-only story
BEHAVIOUR
I Loathe That Icky, Sticky Feeling of Neediness
Where does the desperate, clingy feeling come from anyway?
I returned from Spain about two weeks ago with an unwanted souvenir — a hacking cough that had started a few days earlier and all the warning signs of a cold. The cough intensified, robbing me (and my partner) of sleep, my nose ran, my throat felt raw and my body ached. Symptoms that pointed to one thing — bedrest until it was over.
But along with the physical wretchedness, something even worse. Neediness. Not of the material sort; I could drag myself out of bed, grab a yoghurt for breakfast, fill my glass of lemon water and dig out cough drops lurking somewhere in the bathroom cabinet. But what I wanted, what I needed was a hug.
Someone to tenderly hold me, murmur how precious I was as he soothed my fevered brow and could just be sweet and kind to me.
My voice raspy and about to disappear entirely, I suggested as much to my partner. The same guy who brings me coffee in bed, loads and unloads the dishwasher, whips up an omelette and scrambles eggs. All that, but I needed more.
“I feel yukky and needy,” I said.
He looked at his watch. “What can I get you?”
