The Caregiver’s Guide To Finding Meaning and Fulfilment
“There is no humanity without care. Or, more to the point, you are making humanity happen through care.”(Elissa Strauss, the author of When You Care: The Unexpected Magic of Caring for Others
The beginning and end of our lives happen under someone’s care. No one is exempt from this inevitability.
In between, we provide care as mothers or look after sick friends and family members.
Caregiving is humanity’s most important activity. Yet, it remains largely invisible to public scrutiny, underappreciated, and ignored.
We view caring either as a burden or as a heroic act.
Caregiving stands somewhere between these two extreme poles.
It’s a challenging task, physically, emotionally, and financially. Yet, it enriches the caregivers’ lives with deeper meaning.
Elissa Staruss offers a guide to caregivers about how to navigate their role, find meaning in their work, learn the lessons, and apply them to other areas of life.
1. Avoid viewing caregiving from a black-and-white perspective.
Caregiving is both challenging and meaningful. Try to be clear about both aspects while discussing it with others.
While reflecting on their roles, caregivers should frame their internal dialogue in a balanced manner. They should not see themselves either as victims or heroes.
2. Apply the lessons learned to other relationships
Caring trains people to understand vulnerability and interdependency. They learn to get more attuned to others’ needs. They develop patience and compassion. Caregivers can apply their newly acquired qualities to improve their other relationships.
3. Caregivers need a change now and then
Caregivers need breaks from their arduous responsibilities. They should not feel guilty about seeking some rest and recreation.
4. Caregivers need to look after themselves
Caregivers need other carers to support them and help them cope with their tasks. They need to form a network of people who will take care of their needs.
5. Avoid multitasking
Caregivers need to be fully present in their jobs to experience it’s enriching possibilities.
6. Don’t undervalue caring as unproductive
Caring is worth trillions of dollars if we monetise it. It’s a productive activity that benefits society. For example, mothers raise children who go on to become productive and responsible citizens in the future.
7. Caring is a spiritual activity
Spirituality is transcending the self and expanding ourselves to see the interconnectedness of life. By fully immersing ourselves in the task of taking care of someone, we rise above our own needs and connect to our spiritual core. Viewing caring as a spiritual activity adds a layer of purpose to our lives.
8. Caring is about finding meaning, not happiness
In moments of frustration and helplessness, carers should overcome their unhappiness by reflecting on the deeper purpose that caring serves in their lives.
Caregiving, despite its pain and suffering, is a deeply meaningful activity. It has a moral lustre that shines brightly and adds to humanity's stock of goodness. Its nobility is an antidote to human selfishness and callousness.
Elissa Staruss said,
Care is not the end of real life, interesting life or important life. In fact, for me, it was, in many ways, the beginning to my most intellectually, philosophically and spiritually demanding and inspiring life yet.”
Society needs to provide institutional support to lessen the burden on caregivers, who are humanity’s best ambassadors of unselfish love and kindness.
Thanks for reading!
