My dear child, what’s that you’re asking for… a phone?

Photo by Julia Coimbra on Unsplash

I would love to give you a phone — the endless hours of quiet are incredibly enticing. I may even get one for your younger brother, and the cat — you can all play Minecraft together — oh, that’s for little kids, sorry, Roblox I meant.

While mommy would devour those quiet hours reading all the books I’ve put off for 11 years, trying all those facials from Whole Foods…