The Daily Markieff — Aug. 5, 2016 — Mailbag Edition

The Daily Markieff — Aug. 5, 2016

Eds. Note:

The Editors would like to thank you for participating in Week #1 of The Daily Markieff’s recent revival. We understand it has been a potentially confusing experience in these early days. That’s part of the nature of the exercise, and the Editors feel confident Markieff’s various ecstasies and travails will make more and more sense over time, as our story develops. As a reminder, you can read all previous editions of The Daily Markieff on Medium.

A bit of background: The Daily Markieff was originally born in 2014 as a vehicle for taunting some close friends involved in a fantasy basketball league. Its new “un-dead” incarnation, in which Markieff bears far less resemblance to his original namesake, is an experiment in incremental storytelling. The idea is to keep it evolving, try new things, and to offer fun, unexpected and brief bits of writing every day. Of course, the experiment may falter; but at the close of Week #1 we wish to express our sincere appreciation for your patronage and our hope you will continue to read — and share Markieff with your friends!

We welcome your honest or dishonest feedback and questions at any point. Letters will typically be addressed in occasional Friday “Mailbag Editions,” such as this one.

Mailbag Edition

Dear Editors:

Your August 1st post explains why the Wizards traded for him in the first place. The organization has a long, proud tradition of trading for dead players (i.e. they once traded Chris Webber for Mitch Richmond). In this case, I assume they were wanted someone to keep company with Nene’s exoskeleton (or in basketball terms “a shell of his former self”). Anyways, I’m wonder if Markieff picked up any special abilities during his time as a dead person, as in Swiss Army Man type skills, and if so, how will those skills translate onto the court.

-A DIE-hard Markieff fan in DC

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Dear DIE:

Your analysis is sound. As soon as Markieff was discovered alive, having been dead for nearly three years, the Wizards immediately lost interest. Luckily, ‘Kieff seems to be headed toward bigger and brighter things already.

-The Editors

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Dear Editors:

Never heard of this guy [Markieff], but I’m with Trump, I’m sure he was a great guy. Hopefully the only thing I’ll ever be with Trump on again.

Looking forward to more wisdom.


— —

Dear Mom:

Wisdom. Indeed.

-The Editors

— — — — —

Dear Editors:

As a recent longtime subscriber, I was thrilled to see Markieff show up in my inbox after a long hiatus. I hate to nitpick at the format of such a prestigious daily newsletter, but I must take issue with the word limit on letters to the editor. The letter-to-the-editor is a time honored tradition and the right of every American to share their opinions with the world. What other space but the sacred letter to the editor do us regular Joe the Plumbers have to make our voices heard in a way that will be listened to and respected by those in positions of authority all across this great country? In this modern internet age, there is simply no other forum that has such power and reach. The editors must change this policy without any delay. Anyway, I was wondering, has Markieff ever been far


— —

Dear Unsigned

If a letter-to-the-editor is such a natural right, why have you declined to provide your name?

Also, as a result of an anonymous windbag (not you, though, definitely not you), letter submissions must now be less than 100 words. You may read our revised policy below.

-The Editors

— — — — —

Dear Editors:

First, Welcome Back!

Second, in terms of famous resurrections, is Markieff>Jon Snow?

-Pondering in Kings Landing

— —

Dear Pondering:

Yes, obviously. Snow is a fraud, destined for the fiery hell of Mordor, where he will be tortured by Voldemort until eternity.

-The Editors

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Shout out to Andrew Olson for the subscriber referral this week! Information on the Refer-a-Friend program can be found below.


The Daily Markieff is published Monday-Thursday and chronicles the daily happenings of our hero Markieff as he navigates the world and its idiosyncrasies — ugly, beautiful, newsworthy and everything in between. You can read previous editions of The Daily Markieff on Medium.


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Contact the Editors

To submit a letter to the Editors, email with “Letter” in the subject line. No submissions longer than 100 words will be accepted. Publication of and responses to submitted letters is at the sole discretion of the Editors. Letters selected for publication will most often run in a future “Mailbag Edition” of The Daily Markieff.

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