Christmas Is For Assholes: The Holiday Album We Need Right Now

What happened to Christmas? It’s become as sanitized as the rest of modern culture. What began as filthy reality — bloody afterbirth mixed with hay, offal and manure — is now a glittering, festooned parade of vapidity that endures the entire month of December.

(Actually we don’t believe that. Christmas is fine, whatever, fuck you. We just needed an introduction for the bawdy holiday album we’d like to see.)

That taken care of, here’s the track list for The Daily Misanthrope’s Christmas Is For Assholes:

1. Hot White Holiday Surprise
2. Anal for Xmas
3. Make Up Your Fucking Minds: Is It Hannukah or Chanukah?
4. Rats in the Tree and Lymphoma in Your Stocking
5. Dreidel Fucking Sucks
6. Baby It’s Cold Outside, So Please Blow Me
7. Do the Handicapped Even Know It’s Christmas?
8. A Partial-Birth Holiday
9. I Know Reindeer Anus When I Taste It
10. The Elf on the Shelf Plays with Himself
11. Doogie Howser Fucks a Man on Christmas Eve

We’ll produce some lyrics as the spirit of the season moves us.