The Need for Sober LGBTQ Spaces
This article was originally written for INTO magazine. The site shut down shortly before this article’s publication. I have permission to share it elsewhere.
Kam Burns moved to New York City four months after he quit drinking. He hoped to meet other LGBTQ people in the city, but couldn’t find a social event that didn’t involve alcohol.
“Even pickup sports in the park usually end at a bar,” Burns says. “Of course you can choose not to drink at those places, but it always ends up being a thing.”
Burns says he doesn’t like to have to explain why he’s sober to strangers.
“The reason is very complicated,” Burns says, “and it’s also not fun being the only sober person around people who are a couple drinks in, especially because I’m very anxious.”
Gay bars and clubs have traditionally been one of the only places where queer and trans people can meet, socialize, and hook up. However, for those LGBTQ people who don’t drink for a wide variety of reasons, there are very few sober LGBTQ spaces available.
Samantha Allen, author of the upcoming book Real Queer America: LGBT Stories from Red States, rarely drinks because of health issues, so she relies on queer cafes in order to meet fellow LGBTQ people. She says she used to frequent was a cafe in Bloomington, Indiana called…
