…But You Aren’t Good Enough
Telling yourself you’re a boss doesn’t make you one
I live a dichotomy: I love following beauty bloggers but never wear makeup. I personally don’t feel the need for it, but respect those who enjoy the process of wearing makeup for their own personal confidence. (There is, however, an entire rant brewing about whether makeup is really for confidence or to meet expectations. Stay tuned).
I like these blogs though. They are always delivered by passionate, young, eager things who believe that the world can change if they just find the right shade of foundation.
The cynic in me hates these people, but the optimist finds life in a dull and treacherous world, so I let them stay in my Twitter feed.
“Lifestyle bloggers” need to get a grip.
These ‘inspo’ accounts do nothing to help people. Telling me that I’m a badass boss lady who can do anything she wants isn’t going to MAKE me a badass boss lady. It’s just going to make me THINK I could be one, then ruin my ego and my confidence when nothing happens.
Of course, being a grumpy grandma long before my time, I see through these messages (because I’ve lived the mistakes myself already — I was young and stupid once, too).
I grew up in the generation where, if you lost a race, you just had to train harder for the next one.
But I worry that the people following these feeds and blogs are of the generation that got medals for just taking part.
They have been told ‘anybody can succeed if they hustle’ — where “hustle” means “use your looks to create a ‘brand’ where people follow you just to fap over your photos and don’t actually hire you for your skills or talent”. Where “hustle” means to sell yourself in the new form of visual prostitution, create a fake life online filled with light and flatlays and photo editing, just for validation.
Many of these lifestyle bloggers can’t even write well, but promote their services as “life-changer, nomad, and mentor” or some other vomit-worthy title. (If your business card says ninja, guru, or wizard: get out).
The fake have-it-all, hustler, ‘I made a gazillion dollars blogging last month and so can you’ people are ruining it for those who do, actually, work hard.
Now, I’m not generalising ALL lifestyle blogs. Nor do I think that nobody has gained the success they shout about: some have made their brand hugely successful and they deliver insightful, life-helping, happy content.
There are, however, many more liars out there than you’d perhaps reckon on.
Until recently, I used to write for people who would tell everyone they were travel bloggers when I knew for a fact they were sitting in a gloomy bedroom in Hull, posting photos they took on a holiday two years ago.
Another blogger would shout about making thousands every month from beauty posts but revealed to me she lived with her parents bill-free and spent her entire day-job salary on buying the products she would tell her followers that brands had sent her for free.
One more would get me to write posts on his startup success but, when I asked for concrete details for an in-depth eBook, it turned out the ‘profit’ was actually entirely made up of Bank of Dad and Grampy’s Inheritance. He’d actually made a significant loss on his startup, and had no idea how to rescue it.
I moved on from these clients when I realised the truth.
These hustlers are selling you a false dream. They don’t have it all. You can’t be happy if you follow ONLY their advice. They make money by selling snake oil dreams to impressionable people. They are damaging a generation who aren’t willing — or haven’t been educated — to see through the lies.
Stop reading about how to be a boss and start working on it.
These hustler blogs sound like they’ve found a solution to retiring at 20. It’s an attractive dream: travel the world, use luxury brands, be beautiful and everything will be fine. Like money will always be fruitful, the internet will always work exactly the same as it does at this point in time, and they can rest on their laurels.
I am a staunchly proud member of the ‘I remember when Facebook was a college-only thing’ club. I know who Tom is, and I know how MySpace changed the world.
In less than 15 years the internet — the thing you base these fake dreams upon — has changed irrevocably. You can’t keep doing the same thing as everyone else if you want to succeed in our digital age.
Success isn’t about replicating someone else’s dream.
It’s about continuous adaptation for survival.
It’s about ongoing self-education.
The entire point of becoming a ‘boss’ is that you’re always going to be one step ahead.
Someone who feels that they are never good enough will strive to always be learning and improving.
Those, dear ranters, are the ones who are, actually, good enough.