Daily Spleen — May 4, 2021
Pissing me off this Tyr’s Day:
Oh, hi. I didn’t see you come in. It’s Tuesday, and there’s NOTHING SPECIAL ABOUT IT. Ok? The movie we’re all “celebrating” today wasn’t released on May 4, it was released on May 25. Just because you can make a clever sound-alike pun doesn’t make it a thing. Stop! Shit show time!
1. Arizona is apparently still counting votes from the Presidential election
Hey, Arizona Republicans, how much money are you going to waste recounting the same goddamn ballots proving that Trump is a liar and Biden rightfully won? For the anti-tax-and-spend party, you sure like spending it when it suits your needs. I mean, you could, for instance, save that money and ACCEPT FUCKING REALITY and maybe start DOING YOUR FUCKING JOBS and governing, but that would involve actual sanity and ethics. Much more fun to pretend it’s all a big conspiracy, waste taxpayer money and time, and grasp at straws trying to change a rightful L to a W. Dumb fucks.
2. Florida GOP is worried restricting mail-in voting will hurt them
Huh. Turns out, millions of Florida GOP voters use mail-in voting. Something around 35% of them in fact, according to this article right here. You mean, knee jerk reacting to a manipulative, conspiracy minded, sociopathic liar out of a misguided sense of loyalty WASN’T the best strategy? Who’da thought?
3. Some jackass pastor says it’s a sin to recognize Joe Biden’s presidency
Hey GOP, where do you keep finding the crackpots? It’s like you looked at the left and decided they had it together, but the parts you decided to copy were Timothy Leary and Jello Biafra, with a dash of Jim Jones thrown in for flavor. Good grief. It doesn’t shock me that a religious person refuses to accept the reality of what’s right in front of them. What shocks me is the number of OTHERWISE INTELLIGENT PEOPLE who fall for this horseshit, and the fact that the media gives these people a platform (I’m looking at you, Newsweek).
4. Bill and Melinda Gates are divorcing
So, this will be less snarky than usual. I don’t want to throw shade on the Gates’, at least not for this. However, this is a prime example of how money doesn’t buy happiness. Yeah, I know it’s a dumb cliché, but this one happens to be true. These folks have all they could ever want. More than they could ever need. Yet, they’re clearly not happy. Happiness comes from you, reader. It doesn’t come from the things you can buy, or even your partner. You may get joy out of being together, but ultimately your personal happiness is your own responsibility, and comes from within. For this I say, good luck to them both. I hope they find happiness in the next phase of their lives. OK, back to the vitriol, lest you think I have a heart.
5. NYPD is retiring their Boston Dynamics Spot robot dog
Which dumbass thought this would be a good idea? People find dealing with the police to be stressful under the BEST circumstances. It’s also well-documented that people find the Boston Dynamics robots fascinating technologically, but ultimately unsettling and creepy. So who looked at both of those things and went “you got chocolate in my peanut butter!” How could any SANE PERSON think this would go well?
