Daily Spleen — May 6, 2021
Pissing me off this Thor’s Day:
Damn it. The sirens near my place this morning weren’t for me after all. I thought for sure they were finally coming to take me to the nuthouse after reading this blog. Which, by the way, is listed by the CDC as a “virus vector” and “threat to public health,” so, better mask up when you read today’s shit-show, folks. Just to be sure.
1. The GOP ousting Liz Cheney from her position in the party
Yeah, I know. For a liberal fuck, I sure talk a lot about the opposition. The problem is, they make it so easy. Case in point, Liz Cheney. One of the few dissenters in the GOP, and their current voice of reason. Apparently, when you leave the GOP’s cultish delusions and actually start dealing with reality, they KICK YOU OUT OF THE FUCKING PARTY. Or at least they try to. The House GOP has been saber rattling about her for weeks now. It’s only a matter of time. Sucks for those of us who think the government should actually function with collaboration and compromise across the aisle.
2. Starting to Feel Restless Again
Noticed it yesterday when I ran out for some lunch. That nagging feeling down at the pit of my stomach telling me everything is wrong. Yeah yeah, I know it’s anxiety. And everything is honestly ok (don’t tell the readers though). I have goals for myself and Rome wasn’t built in a day. Just feeling a little confined in my life. I get this way sometimes. This is hard to admit, but I think I might have actual feelings, too. Like, more than just the one. Shhh! Quiet! Don’t let that get around!
3. Peloton recalls all treadmills after a child’s death and 70 injuries
Seriously? You had one fucking job, Peloton. It’s not like treadmills are some kind of brand new bleeding-edge tech, even if you are attaching giant fucking touchscreens to them, for no apparently good reason other than to charge more. Apparently a kid was KILLED on one? How the fuck does that happen, Peloton? Kids aren’t typically dying every day on treadmills, so I’m going to go ahead and say this is some kind of gross negligence in the design. How do you fuck up a treadmill?
4. Shit that pops up on my computer over what I’m currently reading
Web designers: STOP THIS SHIT. Stop popping shit up on the screen. I promise you, if I need fucking help picking out a t-shirt, I’ll click on the goddamn “Live Chat” help button. Or I’ll find your FAQ or help page. I’m not a fucking imbecile and I don’t need to you pop shit up in my face while I’m trying to fucking use your goddamned site for it’s intended purpose. And if it’s a fucking ad that pops in my face? Just do us all a favor and go off yourself. I’ll wait.
5. Andrew Giuliani considering running for governor of NY
Good fucking Christ! Another one? Rudy has kids? Someone actually let him close enough to procreate? This is…ok, folks, this is just too much. I may have to go for a bit of a lie down. Maybe after chugging some bleach.
