Stop Making Compromises to Yourself
It’s funny how a lunch with a friend can lead to a lesson about compromises and I’m not talking about choosing Mexican food over Chinese…which, in my opinion, Chinese wins HANDS DOWN!!!!
Last week I had lunch with my friend Tammy catching up on things. One thing led to another and we found ourselves back at her house…
Watching Mr. Deeds on Comedy Central and laughing as if it was the first time we saw it.
I know, I know…I don’t know how this happened. But it could have been worse Adam Sandler movies like Click or the one with him playing his own sister. UGH! Anyway, we had a great time. As we were finishing the movie, the final scene really got me thinking.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjwMkCZ6zNM&t=2s
What would the six-year-old me say to myself today?
Honestly, I at six would probably give myself more shit about not being a ninja (as discussed in a past blog) than anything. Wait, you don’t know any martial arts? You aren’t a superhero? You haven’t saved a person from mortal danger? Dude, you suck!
But the fresh out of college me…oh, he would be pissed!!!! That version of myself would have reminded me that I came to Atlanta to learn the music business and start my record label. He would have reminded me that I had aspirations on being the next Diddy. The plan was for me to manage my sisters’ band, IDLE of the Peach into superstardom and I was gonna give other talented people you were fortunate to know a REAL chance at their dreams. And buy Momma a house and Aunt Sis a car…super new college graduate me would have really cussed me about those particular ones.
Okay, so I had missed some turns. Fortunately, I’m not as bad as the guy in Mr. Deeds who went from veterinarian dreams to owning slaughterhouses but still pretty bad. What in the hell happened? How did I get so far off the beaten path?
I made too many compromises with myself
I moved to Atlanta and needed money. So I took a job at a company. Nothing wrong there. I gotta eat, right? But I got there and made the company my focus. I stayed there ELEVEN years fighting for corporate respect, trying to climb the corporate ladder, getting caught up in office politics, and putting more energy into a multi-million dollar company than any passion I had in my heart.
Just slowly stopped doing the things I love. Stopped networking with others in my industry. I went to shows and performances less and less. Ended up falling out of touch with all the creatives I know from music to writing to painting…everyone. I lost myself. I put the others ahead of my own dreams. I lost track of anything I wanted. And to think it all started from a few compromises.
I’m not saying you cannot have a means of supporting yourself. You gotta eat, have a roof over your head, and support your family if needed. But you have to remember the reason why you are there. You can’t lose yourself or start making compromises that pull you from what you want to do.
Stick to the script!
Now, what if you’re like me and realized that you have made a gambit of compromises? You can fix it but you’re gonna need a couple of things.
Bravery — You will need the strength to move away from what you’ve settled with especially if it’s been a long time. When you think about all the factors and complications involved…let’s just say this won’t be easy.
Stop Saying NO to yourself — Any ideas you had before the world scared you…like being a ninja or the next Diddy sounds completely plausible. You just need to work hard and have an opportunity. Granted there isn’t a lot out there in becoming a ninja but…just read this post, I cover that. But now…now that you’re an adult, you will shut down an idea before you even thought it through. Hell, I know I do that. Stop saying no. Okay, maybe the idea may be a little far fetched…but hard work and opportunity are all you need, so it’s at the very least a maybe.
Confidence — You can quit your job and dedicate yourself to doing something. You can stop getting in your own way by not saying no. But if you don’t believe you can do what you want to do then you are just wasting your time. I can’t create a blog that I post fairly constantly in and think I’m a trash writer. Well…I can because that’s kinda how I felt for years but look at the results. I wouldn’t say I’m killing it but I can’t really say I’ve tried either. Going through the motions is NOT trying. Believing in yourself is trying.
Remember what compromises are
IT’S AN AGREEMENT OR A SETTLEMENT OF A DISPUTE THAT IS REACHED BY EACH SIDE MAKING CONCESSIONS.
Now if you are making a compromise with yourself…
What are you disputing with yourself?
What are you conceding with yourself?
And how is this mutually benefiting you when it’s just YOU?!
But those are just my thoughts…right or wrong…just what I was feeling at the time.
Stop Making Compromises to Yourself
It’s funny how a lunch with a friend can lead to a lesson about compromises and I’m not talking about choosing Mexican food over Chinese…which, in my opinion, Chinese wins HANDS DOWN!!!!
Last week I had lunch with my friend Tammy catching up on things. One thing led to another and we found ourselves back at her house…
Watching Mr. Deeds on Comedy Central and laughing as if it was the first time we saw it.
I know, I know…I don’t know how this happened. But it could have been worse Adam Sandler movies like Click or the one with him playing his own sister. UGH! Anyway, we had a great time. As we were finishing the movie, the final scene really got me thinking.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjwMkCZ6zNM&t=2s
What would the six-year-old me say to myself today?
Honestly, I at six would probably give myself more shit about not being a ninja (as discussed in a past blog) than anything. Wait, you don’t know any martial arts? You aren’t a superhero? You haven’t saved a person from mortal danger? Dude, you suck!
But the fresh out of college me…oh, he would be pissed!!!! That version of myself would have reminded me that I came to Atlanta to learn the music business and start my record label. He would have reminded me that I had aspirations on being the next Diddy. The plan was for me to manage my sisters’ band, IDLE of the Peach into superstardom and I was gonna give other talented people you were fortunate to know a REAL chance at their dreams. And buy Momma a house and Aunt Sis a car…super new college graduate me would have really cussed me about those particular ones.
Okay, so I had missed some turns. Fortunately, I’m not as bad as the guy in Mr. Deeds who went from veterinarian dreams to owning slaughterhouses but still pretty bad. What in the hell happened? How did I get so far off the beaten path?
I made too many compromises with myself
I moved to Atlanta and needed money. So I took a job at a company. Nothing wrong there. I gotta eat, right? But I got there and made the company my focus. I stayed there ELEVEN years fighting for corporate respect, trying to climb the corporate ladder, getting caught up in office politics, and putting more energy into a multi-million dollar company than any passion I had in my heart.
Just slowly stopped doing the things I love. Stopped networking with others in my industry. I went to shows and performances less and less. Ended up falling out of touch with all the creatives I know from music to writing to painting…everyone. I lost myself. I put the others ahead of my own dreams. I lost track of anything I wanted. And to think it all started from a few compromises.
I’m not saying you cannot have a means of supporting yourself. You gotta eat, have a roof over your head, and support your family if needed. But you have to remember the reason why you are there. You can’t lose yourself or start making compromises that pull you from what you want to do.
Stick to the script!
Now, what if you’re like me and realized that you have made a gambit of compromises? You can fix it but you’re gonna need a couple of things.
Bravery — You will need the strength to move away from what you’ve settled with especially if it’s been a long time. When you think about all the factors and complications involved…let’s just say this won’t be easy.
Stop Saying NO to yourself — Any ideas you had before the world scared you…like being a ninja or the next Diddy sounds completely plausible. You just need to work hard and have an opportunity. Granted there isn’t a lot out there in becoming a ninja but…just read this post, I cover that. But now…now that you’re an adult, you will shut down an idea before you even thought it through. Hell, I know I do that. Stop saying no. Okay, maybe the idea may be a little far fetched…but hard work and opportunity are all you need, so it’s at the very least a maybe.
Confidence — You can quit your job and dedicate yourself to doing something. You can stop getting in your own way by not saying no. But if you don’t believe you can do what you want to do then you are just wasting your time. I can’t create a blog that I post fairly constantly in and think I’m a trash writer. Well…I can because that’s kinda how I felt for years but look at the results. I wouldn’t say I’m killing it but I can’t really say I’ve tried either. Going through the motions is NOT trying. Believing in yourself is trying.
Remember what compromises are
IT’S AN AGREEMENT OR A SETTLEMENT OF A DISPUTE THAT IS REACHED BY EACH SIDE MAKING CONCESSIONS.
Now if you are making a compromise with yourself…
What are you disputing with yourself?
What are you conceding with yourself?
And how is this mutually benefiting you when it’s just YOU?!
But those are just my thoughts…right or wrong…just what I was feeling at the time.
