The Blogger

Tiffany Bukowski
May 1, 2013 · 3 min read

Much has been said on the cool side of the keyboard…. It is a place to find solace and recluse and a way to be both anonymous while feeling known. It is an environment to spew opinion, create content, and give ones’ self. It can also be a treacherous land-mine when done outwardly and professionally.

Perhaps it is my inclination, but I find writers to be the best, albeit most inconsistent, lovers. And if I were a lady who were to count trysts, I would impress upon you my impressive resume of these types. Clearly, in this day and age, a writer doesn’t typically pour themselves onto paper with ink, but onto a screen over condensed hours of a day. The entire gamescape changes when we dissect the “blogger” as an online writer; usually whip-smart, dry-humored and somehow not quite socially prepared (which I would attribute to the lonesome fact that writing involves introspection). In general, I have found that to be with someone who professes to write for a living means to be with someone whom you always have to encourage and re-encounter.

They need support, more so perhaps than anyone. They want to know they’re doing well, that their post was “funny, well-written, full of wit” and most importantly “fuck that commenter.” This becomes the mantra when dating a blogger. I have heard of those who are unfazed, worn down to the point of immune by the internet / comments / blogosphere to simply not give a shit. But if there is a slight lack of inherent confidence (which is totally normal) the internet spews venom onto their writing and can puncture holes into some of the toughest of skins. Those who write professionally on the Internet are willingly open to all of the worst people. And people are basically the worst on the Internet.

To love a blogger is to hold the optimism. When a single comment can ruin their day, the confident advocate will uphold their faith in their own work. As a writer, the Internet is perhaps the harshest editor, and therefore, the required reaction is a steady dose of positive reinforcement.

On their best days, they are complete with admiration for your own given support; subtle as a novelist, observant as a journalist, and entirely in-tune to what is needed. On their worst, I would avoid all contact; as they are as bitter as they come. Some creature, spite-fueled and detached, will lock hold and suck you dry of any positive concept you create - for yourself or them. Their own failure (or other peoples’ dislike) will become an echo to the theme of the day/night. And it can take an army of compliments to bring them back to life.

While totally unprepared for this type of person, yet somehow magnetically attached, I can say without a doubt, bloggers (writers) are troubled. If you have the stamina to try to stick around then, by all means, do so. And good luck - you are clearly of stronger ilk than your humble…author?

Result: Novellas of Pain

Number of Attempts: Too many to type

The Date-Oscopy

Dissecting the minutia of a date: typically with themes of their professions or basic qualifiers. Yes, these are sweeping generalizations.