If You Will Not Fight For The Life You Want, You Do Not FREAKING Deserve IT!
Get angry, my love
Let a holy anger rage through you and DON’T YOU DARE stifle it for it is the only thing that will save you from this wimpy, weak, lack-drenched existence that you have settled for.
But you keep believing the stupid spiritual rhetoric that tells you to be the nicest, kindest, sweetest, most obedient person on the planet
You thought that if you were nice enough, then everything you wanted would be handed to you on a platter — it would just ‘manifest’ because you wished it so…
And you tried
OH YOU HAVE TRIED
You have denied yourself, betrayed yourself, given yourself up time and time and time again, trying to be the nice, good, kind, sweet person you thought you needed to be to finally be granted every single desire of your heart.
And I know you did not even do it for that reason.
You just thought that if you were just ‘good’ enough, then of course, life would work in your favour.
Then the Divine would send all His holy angels to ensure that all your needs were taken care of
And of course, you did not need much, did you? (or so you kept telling yourself)
You just wanted enough to have a happy enough existence without having to worry about money
You just wanted enough to be able to give your children, your family, your friends a good enough life
It was not too much to ask
And yet, somehow despite all your effort to be the best person on the planet, you are stuck in a place of lack
You never have enough money
But you have MORE THAN ENOUGH problems
And still you keep obeying the stupid rules that got you here in the first place
Still you keep listening to the part of you that says you are not good enough to do any better (well, actually, this part of you has been getting louder and louder in recent times as you keep saying NO to your deepest soul and so now, you have even managed to convince YOURSELF that you are not good enough to go after the life you want)
STILL you keep accepting nonsense from life when YOU ARE MEANT TO BE THE AUTHORITY IN YOUR LIFE!
You KNOW you are meant for more but you keep settling for less because you think you ‘have to’
Loved ones walk all over you to get what they want and you just keep giving it to them because you tell yourself it is the ‘loving’ thing to do (to be a doormat!!!) and because you assume that ONE DAY, someone will return the favour and give you a platform and then it will be your turn
WHEN, my love?
They tell you to tithe because your deity will reward you and so you have been giving FOREVER to THEIR VISION and TO YOUR OWN DETRIMENT (while being oh so sweetly grateful for the pleasure of being BROKE) and where the heck is the promise?
WHEN is it gonna come, my love?!
They tell you to keep showing up at a job you HATE and that finally, you will have enough to retire and do nothing but you are getting closer and closer to that so-called time of great peace when you can just lounge around doing whatever you like and actually, all you feel is fear because you have NOWHERE NEAR Enough to EVER stop and enjoy your life…
And yet, you just keep showing up, doing what you are told, hoping that someday, somehow it will all just miraculously sort itself out…
Because you followed the rules, right?!
You worked hard, right?!
You got the education, right?!
You have been so nice to EVERYONE and you are such a good person so of course, things MUST work for you, right?!
All the movies tell you how the good, sweet, kind ones win in the end, right?!
but there is sinking feeling at the bottom of your stomach, telling you that something is not right with this picture…
But you ignore YOURSELF and keep following THEIR rules, telling yourself that there is no other way…
Telling yourself that you don’t know what to do…
Telling yourself that it will all come right in the end because the Divine will somehow find a way to save the day because you have ‘faith’ (that you are not DEMONSTRATING!!!)…
And you truly believe this NONSENSE!
But open your eyes, my love and take a good long look at your life…
IT. IS. NOT. WORKING!
And it will NEVER Work the way you are doing it!
but you can keep pretending that the wimpy nonsense you keep indulging is going to somehow miraculously turn around or you can get freaking angry and realise that you have been listening to the wrong people.
YOu can open your eyes and see that YOU HAVE ALLOWED people to treat you like dirt and YOU called it ‘good’
You can open your eyes and see that YOU HAVE ALLOWED so much time to pass as you forced your own awesome self to live the wrong life
YOU have been fighting WITH YOURSELF because, deep down, you have always known that what you are doing is just not good for you and so you have been stifling yourself, pushing your true feelings down, trying to be whatever ‘they’ needed you to be and now you are freaking DRAINED!
And YOU have been fighting for EVERYONE ELSE’S LIFE while YOUR OWN LIFE has been left to go rotten
And start fighting FOR YOURSELF
Instead of fighting WITH yourself to be what OTHERS have told you that you ‘should’ be.
What do you really want?
Can you even truly answer that question anymore?
For so long, you have told yourself to want, what THEY told you that you could have and you kept silencing the desires of your own heart so now when I ask you what you want, all you can think of is what you DO NOT want anymore.
Go deeper, my love
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
Write it down and make a deep commitment to yourself to go after it with EVERYTHING inside of you because there is no more time for half-measures
There is no more time for playing the wimp
YOU HAVE GOT TO GET ANGRY AND YOU HAVE GOT TO FIGHT!
Fight for the life you want
YOU ARE THE ONE WITH ALL THE CHOICES!
Keep wimping out or CHOOSE YOURSELF and the LIFE YOU ARE MEANT TO BE LIVING!
WAKE. THE. HECK. UP
Everything you need to change the trajectory of your life is in there if you will use and implement it.
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The question is “Are you too wimpy to go get it?”
Are you too proud to admit that the life you are living is JUST NOT THE RIGHT ONE FOR YOU?
Are you too proud to admit that what you have believed to date, is not working for you?
Are you too scared to go against some of your most sacred beliefs even though they have proved themselves BY THE FRUIT IN YOUR LIFE that they are just nonsense, false tradition and man-made nonsense designed to control you and keep you playing small?
Or maybe for you, it is that you are scared of what your deity might do to you for questioning your sacred beliefs?
And I ask you — IS THAT LOVE?
Get angry, my love.
You have believed lies
You have based your life on lies
And if you do not get angry and start fighting for yourself, you will die a failure with regret being your final thought
You have the opportunity RIGHT NOW to begin your transition
I wish I could promise that it will be easy but if you are anything like I used to be then you will probably veer between absolute certainty that your new path is the right one and then run scared back to the old path because it feels ‘safe’ and because a part of you is petrified that you are just not good enough to live the life you truly desire.
You will veer wildly between faith and fear
Years of habitual self-stifling will be hard to shake
You will find yourself still saying YES, when you KNOW you want to say NO
And so on
Which will make EVERYTHING take so much longer and be MORE painful than it needs to be
But if you will COMMIT to FIGHT FOR YOURSELF every freaking day ANYWAY and Never Ever quit on yourself again, YOU WILL BREAKTHROUGH.
Much Amazing Love