BEST FRENEMIES FOREVER
Mother & I, B. F. F.
My mother is awesome! She walks the tightrope between “I am not your friend; I am your mother…” strictness and “..as long as you love me, I will let you do and say whatever you want….” sycophant.
Growing Up In Two Different Houses
Being a child of divorced parents can be rough. Believe, divided parenting and “split households” is not anyone’s idea of a fun childhood. For me, I’ve lived full-time with my mom (and other dad. We don’t use the “step”-anything word around here) for a very long time.
Don’t get me wrong; this is not a case of “…I don’t get along with my dad and step mom…” — quite the contrary; I get along with them extremely well. I have a great relationship with my dad and step-mom, love them all to pieces. It’s just that I always wanted to live with my mom.
From a young age I’ve always been very fond of my mother. She always read me bedtime stories and sang me to sleep; in return, I’ve always made sure she is okay, safe, and happy. Even at a young age, I wanted to be with her most of the time, and always felt safe falling asleep in her arms.
Again, I’m not saying I didn’t feel safe at my dad‘s; for the record, I felt safe in both places! Note to parents: I’m not trying to start nothing…
Parenting, weaponized…
Growing up in two different households was very “interesting”. At the beginning — or as far back as I can remember — it was a couple days with one and a couple with the other.
Later on — after much back and forth and adult negotiations— it changed to a week with one set parents and then the following week with the other set of parent. It went like this for years…because — why not — I was just a kid and my opinion didn’t matter.
Eventually, as I got a bit older, I joined the Royal Canadian Air Cadets and having to transport my dress uniform from place to place was getting very tiring! There were times, in the rush to get dropped off at one place or another, one parent would forget to pack everything in the car and I would missing some pieces at my cadet practice.
I think we got something here…
Finally, at the end of the first year of cadets I mustered the courage to ask my parents if I could move in full time with mom. I know my dad and step-mom were a little upset with my decision — I wouldn’t and didn’t blame them for that — but they also love me and understood and accepted it. Before school started that year I moved in full time with my mom and “other” dad.
Living with them full time was great — Yes I missed seeing my dad everyday, but most weekends I stayed with them. One of the things I loved as a kid — and still do now — was when mom would came into my room, climbed into my bed, and just started cuddling me 💖
I loved being cuddled. It made — and still makes — me very happy 💖💖💖
Ever since I’ve moved in full time, I’ve gotten really close with my mom. We are so close that we know each other’s secrets and dreams. We try to help the other out in every way possible, and I absolutely love her for that.
I am also growing up into an independent and assertive young adult. I know that at some point mom and I will butt heads about one thing or another; but when that time comes, I will know the disagreement comes from a place of love and not malice.
Tough-ish love
Although mom would do ANYTHING for me, she is by no means a doormat or sycophant. When I needed discipline as a child, there was no one tougher; but she always coated even the harshest of punishment with a thick layer of love and understanding.
Now, to be honest; when I’m at my dad’s we also do a BUNCH of fun things too. One of my favorite things is playing a game called Tuck. It’s one of those strategy marble/card games that is great as a family game.
Another thing that we used to do as a family was movie night, every Friday night. I remember me and my brother lying on the ground with a small bowl of popcorn/chips watching the newest Avatar movie when it first came out on DVD/BluRay.
The reality check…
Growing up in separate places can be really difficult for us kids as we transition from children to adolescents to young adults.
That being said, if you or anyone you know is in a similar situation, and is feeling uncomfortable with similar arrangement; just know your parents — separated or divorced as they may be — will always be there for you to talk to you. To listen to what you have to say and understand how your feel.
Talk to them, believe me they will listen; because in the end, they love you as much as my parents — all two sets of them — love me.
Hope you’re all good. Stay safe, please💖
This painting at the top was created for my mom, her favorite color is purple. I wanted to create in memory our hand prints on it. I feel that this painting brought us together even more. My Mother’s hands is painted Oil on canvas; made with purple, white and red acrylic paint. The size of it is 20" x 16"
