Here’s Why We Give

A reflection on charitable giving — and some of the themes we’ll be exploring in our upcoming publication, The Development Set.

Last week, self-proclaimed “philanthropy wonk” Lucy Bernholz hosted a riveting conversation on Medium. “This is why I give,” she wrote, as she described her personal philosophy of charitable giving. “What about you?”

The ensuing conversation was heartfelt, wide-ranging, and at times surprising. It included beautiful lines of prose, like this passage from Remarkable People: “I give so that my hands are empty and ready to receive the new blessings that are flowing my way. When I grasp my money, my time, my ideas too tightly there isn’t any room or ability to accept something new.”

This conversation is part of an editorial exploration that will begin in earnest in January. I’ll talk more about that in a second. First, here are some of the themes I noticed in this roundtable:

Personal experience. More people than I expected talked about how their own experiences paved the way for their giving. In Byron Tannehill Jr’s case, his father had experienced homelessness for some time. Since he was young, his dad encouraged him to be “the person you would want to encounter if you were in an unfortunate situation.” Similarly, Emilie Burke talked about not having much while growing up, and therefore abiding by the statement, “To those whom much is given, much is expected.”

Role models. Many of us give because of people we’ve encountered along the way. embraceKulture met a girl named Olivia, whose Down syndrome had her labeled a curse in her native Uganda. “It is because of Olivia that I ‘can’t not do,’” they wrote. I reflected on some of the wisdom I gleaned from my grandfather, who I’m confident is the closest I’ll ever come to meeting a saint. Marvin J. Mathew talked about his mother’s unending commitment to giving, even when money is tight. “She created an account just for giving back,” he wrote. “It is my family’s way of tithing, particularly with the Church making some questionable calls with its money.”

Religion. Less surprisingly, several contributors talked about religion as a guiding principle in their giving. “I don’t give because I’m good and holy, or even because it’s my responsibility,” wrote Rabbi noa kushner. “I’m just returning something that was on loan.” Ruben Brosbe invoked the Jewish principle of tikun olam, or repairing the world. Emilie mentioned her Catholicism and the importance of reflecting on Mark 12:41–44.

Giving with more than a checkbook. The great thing about giving is that it can take many forms. Lucy herself talked about serving on nonprofit boards, serving at food banks, and giving blood. Arsene REBOUKA became a volunteer English teacher. “The little I have in pocket and the most I have in head,” he wrote, “I give it.” After Angela Velez-Segui’s son was diagnosed with severe autism, she became a teacher’s assistant at a special needs preschool. “I cannot fund new schools like Oprah, or donate my own money to the causes I care most deeply about,” she said. “I am a working mom who thinks carefully about how to spend her family’s paychecks. However, I can still do a lot.” After all, as Byron reminds us, “it doesn’t cost anything to be a good person.”

Giving with head and heart. Of course, it’s important to think about how your donation is received. James Norris explained how the “effective altruism” movement turbocharged his commitment to giving. “It’s about dedicating a significant part of one’s life to improving the world and rigorously asking the question, ‘How can I do the most good?’” He and many others appreciate the scientific approach to giving. But Lucy questions the premise: “The EA movement seeks to identify and deploy quantifiable metrics for the efficiency of dollars spent. This is one way to bring science into the equation of giving. But it doesn’t work for me because for me, in my philanthropy, efficiency is not the highest value.” In a separate post, she explained her (highly sophisticated!) portfolio approach to philanthropy. She opens her purse only after she’s decided there’s no other way to help. “Once I’ve determined that I can’t volunteer, shop, invest or divest my way toward a certain issue, I see if it fits into one of my three broad categories for giving,” she wrote.

Not everyone gives. Importantly, the proclivity towards giving back is not universally shared. edomurtadha is shaped by a former teacher, who said to not give to anyone who isn’t blind. “Simply because if u healthy enough u can do anything to make your own money,” they wrote. “We all earned what we own now.” Stephen Rees gives to several causes, but has some reservations with regards to the tax implications.

Anonymity. Lucy chose to not mention the charities to whom she gives, partially because of her belief in charitable anonymity. Michael Soto reflected further on the “giver’s vow of modesty,” though he concluded that in the end, it may be more harmful than productive: “As much as we like to think of ourselves as independent thinkers, we are incredibly shaped by the paradigms of our times. When givers perform their acts behind closed doors, it tips the balance against giving, leaving in public sight a disproportionate set of acts of non-giving. We’re left thinking not giving is the norm and by extension it is ok not to give because no one else does.”