Not Sure, Not Sure
This isn’t certain
Ajahn Chah taught a phrase to say when difficulties arise:
‘This is uncertain.’
Whatever happens, good or bad, one remembers: ‘This is uncertain,’ or, ‘not sure. Not sure.’
I used to be such an angry person. I would get het up about this and that.
But anger is craving.
‘I don’t want this. I wish this hadn’t happened. I wish that person wasn’t like that. I wish the world was different.’ And so on. If someone criticised me, I would take it personally. I’d get cross when others did things I didn’t agree with. Become upset when I didn’t get what I wanted. This is suffering.
It’s all craving.
The mind was always finding fault with things and it made me miserable.
We can get so attached to our views and opinions. Our biases. They colour our perceptions. We can convince ourselves we are right and get so deluded about it. Even when reality challenges what we think we still hold fast to our assumptions. We believe our own nonsense and cling to delusion.
‘I am right. You are wrong.’ Why does it matter? Who cares? The craving to be right about something, it’s nonsense.
Who is this I anyway? It’s nothing but an illusion, a mistaken view of reality. A mental construct. A fabrication. When you look for the ‘I am’, there is nothing there. Nothing. We imprison ourselves in a box of our own making. Become limited by it — tangled up in greed, hate, and delusion. This is suffering.
I have lost count of how many times I have thought I was right about something and turned out to be completely wrong. Things rarely turn out the way we think. The mind is an expert at forming erroneous conclusions about reality and then clinging to those assumptions.
Whatever we think is happening. It is always wise to say:
‘Not sure. Not sure. This is uncertain.’
And leave it at that.
That’s how we learn the Dhamma through watching our own minds. The mind is a delusion generator. It is tricky. There’s nothing trickier than the mind. But if we can understand our own mind we will understand all minds. We will understand the world.
We learn the truth by watching the way we react to things. Why do we react the way we do? What is behind it? That’s how we develop wisdom and understanding.
Knowledge comes from experience.
Studying texts is helpful because we need some intellectual understanding of the path, it’s like a road map. But the map is useless if we don’t actually make the journey. We can think about the path all we want, ponder it and contemplate it; but if we don’t walk the path, that intellectual understanding is useless. It’s only through our own daily practice that we learn the truth of things.
It is in daily life that we see suffering, clinging, craving, and the end of suffering. This is our teacher.
It isn’t easy, and one mustn’t give oneself a hard time when one fails. Failure and making mistakes is par for the course. All awakened beings made mistakes — without exception.
Wisdom and discernment develop when we learn from failure and make adjustments based on that new understanding.
Mara will test you. He won’t go easy on you. He is an expert at pushing our buttons and he can be relentless. But don’t be afraid. Failure and defeat can be a powerful teacher. Just shrug your shoulders, be honest with yourself, admit you were wrong and then learn from your mistake. Correct your course, and resolve not to make that mistake again in the future, then leave it at that. Guilt is unnecessary, it won’t help anything, it just weakens the power of the mind. The past has been left behind, and the future is not yet reached. Instead, be aware of what is happening now. This moment is all we have, it’s the only moment we have to practise the Dhamma.
At the root of all our emotional suffering is craving. If we can abandon that, we will feel better.
Whenever I fail, I look at what happened and look at what factor of the noble eightfold path was weak. This can reveal my vulnerabilities, the chinks in my armour that Mara found a way through. It reminds me that there’s still much work to be done. It shows me where I need to train more.
Serenity practices and the Brahma Viharas help with anger. They are part of the path, they come under the factor of right intention.
The Brahma Viharas are: goodwill, compassion, joy in another’s happiness, and equanimity.
I am someone prone to depression at times. This comes from craving. It is the thirst for non-existence. It can be challenging. But whatever I feel, I have to train to abandon it. To abandon both the thirst for existence and the thirst for non-existence. It is tricky. A balancing act. One mustn’t yearn for life and one mustn’t hate it.
I keep remembering nothing is certain. Whatever construing arises in the mind, is only a fabrication. A mental construct — that’s all. I keep reminding myself: ‘This is not certain. Not sure. Not sure.’ Whatever thoughts I have, whether good or bad: ‘Not sure, not sure.’
This can help cool down the craving and help me let go. When the clinging stops, so does the agitation. Then there is peace and contentment.
Guard the sign of peace with mindfulness. Don’t find fault with things and don’t get carried away with the beautiful. Don’t let either agitate you. They are both transient. When longing arises ‘not sure. Not sure. This is uncertain.’ When anger arises. ‘Not sure. Not sure. This is not certain.’
Don’t let others disturb your peace. We have no control over what others do. We have no control over the world and what happens in it.
Remember, not everyone shares the same view. We aren’t all singing from the same hymn sheet.
The only thing we have control over is the way we react to things, that’s where we can train ourselves.
Be careful what you let into the mind, what you hold onto. The world is full of greed, hate, and delusion. Don’t cling to views or perceptions. Don’t cling to ideas. Not your own, and not others. It’s just craving. Whatever we perceive, remember, it is just a perception. Just sensations. Just sights, sounds, smells, tastes, touch, and ideas. Not me, not mine, not self.
Let the craving go cool. Give up trying to control things that are outside your control. This wanting to be in control is craving. Just be a peaceful flow within a flow. At ease in an uncertain world. Train yourself to feel goodwill for other beings and yourself. This helps everyone feel better. Kindness is like medicine, something the Buddha highly praised. Train in equanimity as well, especially when things are challenging and goodwill feels hard. Cultivate calm instead of frustration and anger. That calm helps you and those around you.
All conditioned things are uncertain. Therefore be a peaceful sage. Not wanting anything. A contented flow within a flow. Don’t hold on to the ugly or the beautiful. Just let it be. It’s all outside our control. Nothing belongs to us. We don’t own anything. We enter this world naked, and we will leave it naked. The world is uncertain, it has always been that way. Just be responsible for your reaction to things. Train in that and let everything else be.
What others think, say, and do is their business. Their karma. What we think, say, and do is our karma. Focus on that, on one’s own karma, not on the karma of others. Don’t compare. This is conceit. Conceit comes from craving. It is suffering and is never satisfied.
Be an island onto yourself. Become your own refuge. Take refuge in the Dhamma. Try to always remember, that the world and others are uncertain. Let it be. Abandon the craving.
Goodwill and equanimity come from within. They are not dependent on the world outside. Be a sage at peace in this uncertain world. Free from delusion.
Suffering is asking from this world what it cannot give you. Therefore yearn for nothing. Be at peace. Be the calm in the storm. The Buddha. The one who knows. The one well gone.
The Four Noble Truths
The truth of suffering; which is to be understood.
The truth of the cause of suffering; which is to be abandoned.
The truth of the end of suffering; which is to be realised.
And the truth of the way that leads to the end of suffering; which is to be developed.
