My Dreams
Did Dream Dementors Eat My Dreams?
Who are the Dream Dementors, how to fight them
Reflections: Struggles to keep my dreams alive, 19th of January 2024
Did you ever dream of becoming something when you grow old? We all do, don’t we?
But what happens to those “when you grow older”?
Did you make it or did Dream Dementors eat them for dinner?
Dementors are “creatures that drain all that is good from the person.”
Dream Dementors are possibly dangerous.
What is left of a person whose dreams are stolen from them? They no longer have something to be excited about or wake up to. They just live, but are dead inside.
“Dementors are creatures that drain all that is good from the person”
Why are are the Dream Dementors deadlier than the ones in the Harry Potter Film?
- They are all around you but you can’t see them
- You don’t have a wand or a Petronus to protect you
- You will never know when your dreams will be stolen
The Dreamer : I too had a dream
As a child, I was a dreamer. When I saw Harry Potter for the first time, I wondered, what would it be like to zip through the walls, and wondered could I become a sorcerer like him?
As I grew older and rules of the world, became clearer, I dreamt of becoming a doctor, serving the poor, earning respect of the society.
By the time I was in my teens, in came the hormones with it. I met my first crush. I fell in love for the first time (or so I thought). And like every person in love, I started to write poems dedicated to her.
With time, I fell in love with writing (was it love or the crush?)
I could write for pages, poems, stories and even started writing a novel. From love stories to politics, from science fiction to suspense, I wrote on all the topics in the world.
I used to write stories on my exercise books or hide small notebooks inside other books, to hide from my family. Imagination knew no bounds. But soon reality struck.
My board results came in. The grades were really poor in the high school exams, I struggled to find a good college. Suddenly I felt pressured to take charge of my career.
Was my career the first Dream Dementor?
I wondered into the world of engineering. I stopped creative writing intentionally and focused getting selected through in-campus recruitment drive. I put in the effort and got into a good software Job.
This led to a higher career ambition. I wanted to do management studies. I wanted to increase my paycheck by three- four folds within the first five years. I wanted a meteoric rise in the career.
I achieved none.
Was my career the first Dream Dementor?
Five years had already passed and I was going no where in my career. Financial issues, career depression, and responsibilities had started to weigh in.
Those were just a few of my many dreams. Did you notice a pattern here?
I failed to realize any of my early dreams. My concerns about my career seemed to kill all my early dreams.
Was my career the first Dream Dementor?
The Drifter: Easier way out?
We have a saying in India,
“you become an engineer first and then think about what you want to do in life.”
I started exploring the same.
It was 2013, I ran my first 10K in a company sponsored marathon. The experience and the adrenaline rush, gave birth to a new dream: endurance running.
I started to train a little, participated in many 10K races, I even progressed to a half marathon. That’s when I stopped enjoying the tough training and consistency needed to progress well in endurance sports.
I stopped training, and slowly started exploring trekking. I loved the wanderlust, the rush of travelling to remote mountains. I participated in a few treks, climbed a walking peak, participated in a basic rock climbing course.
I started dreaming about becoming a mountaineer some day. I could see myself climbing from peak to peak. I even dreamt of scaling the 8000-ers some day.
But then I left it midway.
Once again, I could not put in the hard work and discipline needed to make it big in endurance sports. Every time it got difficult I seemed to take an easier way out. I drifted towards a new dream.
Who was the dementor here? Did I kill my own dreams?
Still I was happy to pursue endurance sports in some form or other. I did not reach the levels I dreamt of, however, I was enjoying it as a hobby.
What if I could not run long, can I help create a marathon event others would love? I transitioned to be an entrepreneur. I started a Ultra Marathon event.
I used to work hard to find the routes, make arrangements, get approvals, network with people and spread the word about the run. I loved every aspect of it. This was my new dream project. I wanted to make the run bigger.
But my family did not support it. They were apprehensive of me wandering around in the jungles and hills. They were apprehensive of the risks associated with it. I don’t blame them.
Wait, am I saying my family too was a dream dementor?
Who was the dementor here? Did I kill my own dreams?
Here’s a cute little trick of Indian parents, if your adult kids don’t listen to you, get them married and get your daughter-in-law on your team, to emotionally blackmail you into giving in.
So they strategized.
They got me married to a lovely person (yes in India we still believe in arranged marriages).
Guess what, they succeeded.
I spent the next few years without the endurance sport, trying to establish a young family. I was happy with our small new family and a young kid, but my dreams took a back seat.
Dream dementors can hide inside your family members too. That’s what makes them dangerous.
From family to society, from our teachers to our friends, and even the love of our lives. Dream Dementors can live inside anyone and keep sucking our dreams.
We don’t even realize that our dreams are getting killed by lack of support and encouragement. By the time we do realize, it’s already too late. We become soulless, dreamless, without any joy of life.
Dream dementors can hide inside your family members too. That’s what makes them dangerous.
So, why am I contemplating these things now?
I saw a brilliant web series,“Sapne vs Everyone” [ Dreams vs Everyone] this week. It introduced the concepts of Dream Dementors. The writing, the performances and the direction of the web series is on point.
It showed us how to identify the Dream Dementors and also gave us ideas on how to keep the dreams alive, how to fight for our dreams even against our own family if needed.
The content was so deep that it got me thinking.
How can I keep my dreams alive?
What could I have done better to ensure I achieve my dreams?
The Doer: I hope I don’t mess it up this time
I have one more dream left. I want to be an entrepreneur. This is my current dream and I am living it everyday. I am making slow but steady progress towards it.
Here’s how I want to ensure, I don’t leave it midway:
- Tell the dream to myself everyday
- Identify and fight all the Dementors
- Set small measurable goals and track them
- Build in public to stay accountable and celebrate
- Fill my network with positive people who encourage
The web-series was a timely reminder of my past mistakes. And it helped me identify what was I doing wrong.
It also gave me some hope.
This time I am more prepared to fight the inner demons and the Dementors outside. I hope I am able to become my own Patronus. I hope magic happens this time and my dream comes true.
What about you, reader did you allow the Dementors to take your dreams?
Who is your Patronus?
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