THE DIARIST CONFESSION
The Lonely Pursuit of Knowledge
Today, once again, my day started at the ungodly hour of 5:00 a.m.
Reflections at an ungodly hour: February 22 2024
The world is still dark, and my mind protests this cruel disruption of sleep. But no, there’s an exam looming over me like a dark cloud — so here I am, dragging myself out of bed.
The hard part isn’t the studying, you see.
No, the hard part is the relentless routine that mocks any semblance of a normal life.
First things first, a bit of meditation. Not because I’m some zen master, but because if I don’t, I might just go out of my *freaking* mind. Clearing the mental cobwebs, focusing on my breath, all while silently cursing the textbooks waiting for me.
Oh, how I miss the days of leisure! Remember when I could wake up at a decent hour, play a few rounds of my favorite video game, binge-watch that show everyone’s been talking about, or simply laze around with a cup of coffee?
Yeah, those days are a distant memory now.
And then there’s the social life — or the lack thereof.
Friends inviting me out for a coffee shop date? — Sorry, buried under books.
Oh, how I miss the days of leisure!
Family planning a movie night? — Nope, knee-deep in equations and theories.
A spontaneous trip to the mountains? — As enticing as it sounds I’m stuck here in the same spot, on my chair, the with laptop glaring at me accusingly.
Every day feels like a copy of the one before it. Wake up, meditate, study, study some more, eat, study again, and then collapse into bed, only to repeat it all over again.
Groundhog Day has nothing on the monotony of exam preparation.
The worst part? It’s not even the fatigue or the mental strain. It’s the slow erosion of the things I love.
The hobbies pushed aside, the moments with loved ones traded for a few more hours of revision. It’s like watching parts of myself slip away, all in the name of this elusive success.
Sure, I know it’s temporary. This phase will pass, the exam will come and go, and life will eventually return to normal. But right now, in the midst of this mind-numbing routine, it’s hard to see beyond the pages of notes and the looming deadline.
So here I am, pouring out my frustrations to you
A tiny rebellion against the monotony, a plea for something more than this cycle of study, eat, sleep, repeat. I miss the spontaneity, the joy of living without the weight of impending exams crushing down on my shoulders.
But for now, it’s back to the grind. Another day, another early morning, another round of studying.
Maybe tomorrow will bring a small reprieve, a momentary escape from this mundane existence. Until then, I’ll cling to the hope that all this effort will be worth it in the end.
What were your student days like? Did you ever feel like me?
Do you have something to write about you think would be welcomed here at The Diarist? Check out the submissions page — let’s see it! Follow The Diarist for some gripping diary entries, by your favourite Diarists.
