Missed periods are not missed!

I remember this happening to my mother, and she thought she was pregnant! But she got on with it. I haven’t had a period for 7 months now. It’s been great. I have hated the draining they brought upon me. When I say it looked like a road accident in my bathroom once a month, I am not exaggerating! I would sit at my iMac and it felt like I was just…pouring. Like a monsoon. Tampons were a no-no. Gave up on them months back. My periods were just too heavy. Then, as if I manifested it, poof, they were gone! The liberation! Dragged my sad ass to the doctor cause well, you’re not meant to have no periods, dammit. He referred me to a gynaecologist and the wait for the consultant appointment took up about 4 of those months.

Here I am, sitting in the car trying to digest what she has just told me. Following the usual discussion about my history and a lot about my mother’s history, she wanted to do an internal exam. “Heels to my bum, knees open wide please” Delightful. With my legs akimbo, there I was absolutely morto. No amount of children and labours and people staring at your Vajajay will ever make this anything less than utterly horrifying, mortifying and well lets faced it really undignified!! Besides the usual looks to the ceiling and mooching around down there, she was quick. A pro.

So I have to have a “procedure” this week to clear out my womb and for her to have a look at my cervix in case there is something strange going on. When I say strange I mean Cancer. Now, it’s not an absolute given but I have to have this checked out. I asked her if I was menopausal and she waved her hand dramatically in the air and declared at 44, I was too young. But after my “procedure”, she will insert a Mirena which will even out my periods. I’ll be grand.

However, and this is why I am uber stunned, she put her hand on my rather rotund stomach, wobbled it back and forth and declared that we had to do something about The Belly. And she had the medication for me, just for that. Given I have PCOS, I have a natural (unnatural?), cough, inability to lose these bloody pounds. She was right, being so overweight, I have been tired. Oh so tired.

Last week, tiredness was so bad, I was crying with tiredness. And it wasn’t midnight on a Sunday after a weekend of partying (remember those days?). This was no adrenaline comedown. This was in the middle of the day. I was on my second and third school pick up and sat in the school yard completely unable to move with exhaustion. By the time I got into the car carrying 2 schoolbags and jumpers, precious school art and the youngest, I was bawling. The rest of the day was intimidating. How on earth was I going to cope with an afternoon of 3 kids under 9? Snacks x 3, homework x 3, dinner x 5, clean uniforms x 3, school lunches prep x 3. I was overwhelmed and just let the hot salty tears stream down my face. Have the cry, then suck it in…and get on with it. That’s what we Irish women do. And I did.

So I’m ready to start this journey. Doubt I’ll lose weight. I have given up on that years ago. But I will try, and I will get on with it. Just like my mother did.