The Heat is On

Its over 15 degrees in Dublin today. Actually do you know what?..Its actually over 20 degrees in Dublin today. This is not Irish weather. As a tribe, Irish women get our tans from bottles and our sun behind a cloud. The current set of blue skies is nothing short of completely unnatural.

And I am very hot.

Then there is my own personal new hot. It’s a lovely quirky hot. “Delightful” Some Other Mother said this morning. She’s actually a dose of. awoman. Seriously. Alarming and occasionally violent actually is how I would describe this bull. There is nothing that will keep me cool. Most mornings, I cope valiantly on the school run. I might even get some work done in the morning. The afternoons are a wipe out.

My delightful hot flushes start at the toes and work like a wave up through my body until I have to take off my top and flap around like a squawking bird. Activity can make it worse. When I say “activity” I mean walking up stairs or opening a window.

Body odour. I am paranoid. I shower twice or three times a day. I spray all manner of sh*te on me all day. The fear of smell is real.

My glasses regularly steam up. This is so embarrassing. Going from house to shop will give me at least 2 Steam Events so that by the time I reach Tesco I look like I’ve had hot sex in the car on my way in. Maybe even on my own! Reader: I have not.

The girls in Tesco all give me a look of pity and sadness and the colour of my face all but matches their delightful Spanish Tomato display. Thats another thing…a tomato can bring on a Steam Event, sometimes but not always a coffee will do it and too much sugar will ramp up the number I get in a day. I’m in a food trap! This is my life now.

I am very aware there is something wrong but this is all normal right? I’ll be grand, just have to get used to it. Sure, don’t I remember my own mother going through “the change” and “living on her nerves” as we put it as a nation about women of a certain age. This is just something I need to get used to.

But. I am trapped in a cycle of embarrassment, heat, and stuck not knowing what to do or actually where to start. I’ll have to chat to someone. I will. Eventually. Till then, sure I’ll be grand.