Why you shouldn’t make a new year’s resolution

As the year draws to a close, there is a flury of articles discussing lessons learnt from 2016 and promises to be made for 2017. Not sure why the last 2 weeks of December is when we wake up to this notion, only to forget our resolutions as quickly as the new year hangover wears off. We realize nothing has changed that dramitically as we resume regular life after holidays. Nothing binary happens at new year.

So why do we make the resolutions we do and what can you do keep atleast some of them? Why do we guilt ourselves into committing something which is difficult to accomplish.

We strive to achieve more and our instincts ask us, even compels us, to try harder — next year. We over-glamorize the future and overestimate what we can do, without putting a plan behind our goals. We don’t back up our resolutions with a full plan. Average list of resolutions is mostly the same and not surprisingly, top resolutions are :

1. Lose weight, Live healthier
2. Spend more time with family and friends
3. Learn something new (or read x number of books per month)

(More here and here).

If infact people could stick to their goals, we would be healthier on average, media watching time would go down, people would laugh more and Amazon book sales would go through the roof.

None of this actually happens. Obesity and diabetes is on rise, Media consumption is on rise (I won’t even back that up with research :) ), and Amazon top sales is not book (s).

So what’s going on? Why are we not moving towards our goals even with best intentions? Are we setting wrong goals?

We are intact setting lofty goals which are more feel good and not concrete or achievable. Our resolutions are overgeneralized and easy to put off. Finally we don’t do a good job of tracking them and reminding ourselves to integrate them in our habbit. The above goals would be far more achievable if instead we wrote them as following (just for example):

1. Lose weigh, live healthier -> Lose 5 pounds in the next 4 months. I will STOP eating ice cream and I will run 3 miles a week after work. I will invest in a standing desk.
2. Spend more time with family and friends -> I will invite at least 2 friends over for dinner every month. Will call 4 friends, family members. I haven’t spoken to in a while, in the next 2 months. I will visit my aunt in summer. I will eat dinner with family everyday(unless traveling).
3. Learn something new (or read x number of books per month) -> (This is the hardest to achieve). Instead of watching TV or checking email, Facebook on my phone before going to bed, I will read a non digital book for 5 minutes.

Of course these are examples. But you will notice that these are:

1. Simple goals that seem more achievable.
2. You have to stop doing something else in order to allow time for new habbits to develop.
3. Dedicate a specific time for some of these activities so you develop a rhythm and eventually a habbit.
4. Keep it simple.
5. You will be able to measure and monitor your progress to help you if your goals are quantified.

These smaller goals, if achieved will become a habbit and have a snowball effect on your life. As you run 3 miles every week it will soon turn into 4–5 miles. People will start reaching out back to you. Kids will look forward to family dinner time and you will rearrange your schedule for it. You will actually complete a few books because 5 minutes will turn into 15–20–30 minutes of reading.

And of course, not making a resolution is completely fine too, especially if we know it’s hard to keep them. At least there is no guilt.