Let’s Stop Making New Years Resolutions
Let’s be realistic instead
It happens every year.
You make a list of resolutions. Usually there’s one related to health and fitness, like working out more or eating less sugar. Then there’s the one where we’re supposed to be more productive, like writing everyday or reorganizing our closet. Then of course there’s that spiritual resolution, like meditating everyday or making daily gratitude lists.
I’m all for setting goals and intentions and a new year seems like the perfect time to do it. The problem I have with New Years resolutions is that hardly anyone sticks to them. Just go to the gym in January then return a few months later, and you’ll see way fewer people.
We all fall off track at a certain point, then beat ourselves up for not sticking to our resolutions. If you’re like me, you vow to meditate every single morning, following by thirty minutes of writing. Then at some point life gets in the way and I feel like a failure because I didn’t stick to my resolution.
Maybe instead of setting resolutions, we should set goals for certain periods of time. Instead of saying “I’m going to work out everyday and eat better and lose ten pounds,” we just commit to a smaller lifestyle change for the month of January.
Every year for nearly the past decade, I have given up sugar and alcohol for the month of January. Believe it or not, just that month long commitment is enough to develop enough of a routine we can adopt when we want. That month proved that we can commit to goals and keep them if we want.
But if we decide this is the year we’re going to “do better” or “be our best selves” we’re setting ourselves up for failure. The fact of the matter is that we’re constantly evolving, sometimes for better and sometimes for worse. Life happens and we have to adapt to changes.
Think about all those folks who decided 2020 was “their year.” We’ve all hear those drunken proclamations on New Years Eve when the clock strikes midnight. Five champagnes in some drunken woman shouts “2020 will be my year! I can feel it!” That happens literally every year and three months later all the resolutions are out the window.
Because a new year is really just one minute past midnight. Nothing really changes. So start with your goals now. Put them in small, attainable increments so you don’t feel like this year has failed you, or like you failed yourself.
I hear so many people complain about how 2020 failed them. Same goes for 2021. Things were supposed to be different. We were supposed to lose weight, get the new job, meet the soulmate. Instead we stayed home and baked sourdough bread, unemployed and definitely not out on the dating scene. What were our other options? We pivoted with the quarantine and did our best to survive. What if we simply reflected on the fact that we made it through 2020? And 2021? We’re still alive. We adapted with this unforeseeable change and most of us even re-evaluated our lives.
So let’s change our approach to New Years resolutions. Let’s say “what realistic goals can I set for myself in the New Year?” And, more importantly, “what change do I want to see now?” We don’t need to wait for the second hand to pass twelve. If we really want to change something about our lives, we can do it now.
Let’s set ourselves up for success. Start working on the goals now. Start writing that book. Start working out (hint: it’s way cheaper to join a gym in December than January). Start setting aside time to yourself. Anything can happen between now and that moment past midnight on January 1st.
