The anxiety of Christmas
I love Christmas. I still remember the suspense of being six or seven and waiting for a visit from Father Christmas. The tree would be up, with lights and tinsel; always a real tree in our home, not one of those plastic jobs! The house would be fragrant with Christmas cooking and our sacks would be out: five starched pillowcases in a row on the couch.
We always listened to seasonal music on Christmas Eve and Mum read us Clement C. Moore’s The Night Before Christmas. Then it was off to bed and the long wait until sleep, anxious and jittery, ears pricked for any sound of bells and hoofs.
That was Christmas as a child experienced it: agony and ecstasy. Now, as an adult, I still love Christmas: the actual day, present giving, family and (if I am lucky) the excitement and wonder of the grandchildren. However, the lead-up to Christmas brings a new anxiety. Will everything be ready? Will everyone be happy? Will the shopping and cooking be done in time?
This apprehension is real. I suffer badly from anxiety at the best of times and the lead-up to Christmas is particularly hard. I have a recurring nightmare that troubles me every year as the celebration nears. Do others have the same experience? Maybe it’s just me.
I have six children (all adults now), but when they lived at home, the need to make Christmas special and perfect for…