The Reality about Focusing on Your Own Path

Warning: It doesn’t always feel like a joyful stroll along the park.

Photo by Katia Mk on Unsplash

Growing up, I struggled with comparisons. It felt as though everyone had it better than me. It felt as though everyone’s lifestyle were more satisfying that mine.

I felt this way in spite of the fact that I had the privilege of being in different nations: New York. Mexico City and Budapest but it never felt good enough. I always wanted to be somewhere else other than where I was.

As I grow older, I still struggle with how to focus on my own path and life. This isn’t easy. There are some days I dwell on social media profiles a little too long and then it leaves me with a feeling of lack. Why do they have this, and I don’t?

Focusing on your own path takes constant effort. It’s not going to feel good all the time. Sometimes, you might find yourself falling and comparing your path to others. When you fall down the rabbit hole, there’s a way for you to climb out.

Here are some tips that will require repetition.

Accept that Your Truth Can Feel Uncomfortable

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One way to focus on your path is to accept the truth about parts of your life that don’t feel too good. It’s accepting that you don’t have it all figured out.

My truth is that I’ve struggled through the workforce. I’ve quit many times and I’ve also been let go once.

I’m not super wealthy and I don’t have the full independence I seek. This does not feel good.

Accepting our truth is difficult because it pokes at our vulnerabilities. Yet, accepting the truth is needed to get to a better sense of self because you free yourself from all you expected of you and life. You become alright with all that life offers right in front of you.

You Will Fall into the Comparisons Trap

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When you start comparing your life to someone else, it never stops. You just keep finding someone else that has it better than you.

Comparing yourself will make you feel inadequate and honestly bitter. The way out of negative comparisons is to understand that we all have a different story.

My mother always tells me that she doesn’t look at others because she knows that everyone is different. She always advises us to focus on our path.

Now, though comparisons can make you feel inadequate, there’s a way to flip it. Instead of hating yourself and others for having what you want, allow yourself to be inspired.

Be inspired by others accomplishment and lifestyle. Let it push you to step up your game. Let it push you to do things differently. Let it push you to take a chance on your dreams.

You can Enjoy Your Process & Still Want More

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Where you are may not be where you want to be but that doesn’t mean you can’t still find reasons to have joy. You can still find reasons to be grateful.

There’s a reel I saw by @mikaela.pabon. I discovered Mikaela’s page just this year and I love her content. She’s a forty-something NYC based influencer.

In the video, she shared her story of being a ‘‘late bloomer.’’ She was married by 36. Had her first child at 37. She started her first business at 38. She had her first campaign at 42.

What I love about Mikaela’s video is the reminder that life doesn’t happen all at once. These days, we see others achieve success before 30. We see our peers marry their high school sweethearts by 25 and it makes you wonder why you are being left behind. But the reality is that your race is your race.

Mikaela calls herself a late bloomer but she’s not. She’s simply running her own race. To anyone whose feeling as though they are not doing well in life because they haven’t achieved great success or found the love of their life, I understand you. Feel what you need to feel but don’t drown because there’s still more life ahead of you.

Joy and Hurt can be Intertwined

Photo by Yonas Bekele on Unsplash

Focusing on your path and passions will produce joy but that doesn’t mean every day will be perfect. Some days I feel bad because I’m not where I want to be as a creative. I don’t get as many engagements or likes on my Instagram.

My Medium page has few followers, and I haven’t been able to monetize. I know that writing is my great love, but it hurts when you feel as though you haven’t maximized your full potential.

It can hurt to feel as though you are not good enough. Life happens and I’m learning to be okay with it. I’m learning to take a step back when I need to. This might mean that for a week or months, I go silent. I take a break from posting and wanting to connect and be understood. I get back to my centre. I get back to my joy.

Final Thoughts

I read a quote from Oprah that states that radical focus is the way to get to your dreams. I’m working on it and if I’m being honest, I fall and I get up. But I can promise you that I’m a lot better than where I use to be.

I don’t dwell too much on the lives of others. I’m deliberate about doing what matters to me. Sometimes, I get hard on myself but then I remind myself that I’m human and I’ve tried.

Join me in this imperfect path of focusing on our path. There are days that it leaves us feeling strong and proud for what we have done. Other days, we find ourselves uncontrollably weeping for what we lack. Either way, we move.

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Keeping a Journal helps reduce stress, keep our memory sharp, gain self-confidence, and improve our mental health. Sharing our life stories and different experiences with others can provide some much-needed relief. Here we will share our stories with the world and provide

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Isioma Ononye

Isioma Ononye

I write about finding yourself, developing your self-esteem, faith, mental health and communications. My Personal Guide on Confidence👉🏾https://bit.ly/3bSY7Aq

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