To the future me - Stop pretending to be an extrovert, please!
It does more harm than good
I’ve recently realized that I’ve got a huge problem when it comes to socializing — trying to fake my personality ; and this post is just a reminder for the future me to stop repeating the cycle.
You — you are an introvert.
Also, you’ve got social anxiety.
Stop denying that you haven’t.
Accept it for god’s sake.
I know you want to be with every one of them, have fun, not care about anything, but most importantly show them that you’re fun, outgoing.
Trying to be a part of their club.
Afterall, it sucks to be called “you’re so quiet” or “ why don’t you speak more”, every now and then.
But ask yourself, Rutvik — Is it worth it ?
Is trying to be that social butterfly, or more of like hating that you can’t be the ideal extrovert, really a good idea ?
It wastes a lot of your time; nor you love mingling to be honest.
Isn’t it better to form close friendships with some rather than everyone- accept that you can’t have everything and everyone; focusing on your goals instead of living by the fear of being alone ?
Sure; work on your social skills — but stop being afraid.
Stop being afraid of being alone. Or doing things differently. Or just making a decision without looking at others.
Stop following the fucking herd.
Stop worrying if this is the college life you wanted.
Stop wondering if you’re missing out on something — it doesn’t matter, really.
Stop doubting yourself. Blaming yourself.
Most importantly, accept yourself. Accept that yes, you’re shitty right now. It doesn’t matter that if you’ll be better in the future- right now, you’re shitty. And improve that instead of letting it go.
Do what you can, now. Don’t let the opportunity pass up.
Be you. Focus on your goals. Make sure that you do what you like to. Figure out your purpose.
Count your blessings. Remember — You’re better than before, even if it doesn’t feel like it.
And please, don’t think that it’s all over. That there’s no hope for you. Or that this whole universe is meaningless, so why try ?
You create your own meaning.
It’s your life, and it’s gonna be over soon.
You can’t do everything, so choose wisely.
Most importantly, stop trying to be someone else, someone everyone else will like — it isn’t worth it.
And you, you’ll be fine.
P.S. — Sorry if some parts don’t make any sense. I literally wrote whatever was on my mind, under fifteen minutes. I just knew I had to get it off my chest and write.
Shoutout to fellow writer Mahnoor Munawar for another common enemy — overthinking :
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