Dear Facebook, Not A Racist Bone
Welcome to a thing where I’m going to try to talk to a lot of people I know all at once based on conversations I’ve read or participated in via Facebook. It will not always be good, but sometimes it will be. In that way, it is a lot like life.
Dear Facebook, I’m struggling with how to say this, so I’m going to take my time in writing it all out. But for now, there is something that needs to be said, sooner rather than later, to the white side of town. Okay.
This week has been weird. We all know that. But I keep seeing a thing, repeated, over and over, in comments and on people’s walls. And it goes something like this, “I voted for Trump, but I can’t believe you‘d imply I’m racist,” or, “I’m tired of being called a racist for voting Trump. I don’t have a racist bone in my body!”
Well.
If you’re not struggling with ways that racism has benefited you, if you’re not questioning how racist assumptions color your perspective or judgments, if you’re not listening to people of color when they’re overwhelmingly saying “hey, this guy is racist,” you’re probably racist.
But if you are struggling with ways that racism has benefited you, if you are questioning how racist assumptions color your perspective or judgments, if you are listening to people of color when they’re overwhelmingly saying “hey, this guy is racist,” you’re still probably racist.
I know I’ve quoted Gene Demby on this topic nearly one billion times (rough estimate) by now, but he really did say it best:
Not being racist is not some default starting position. You don’t simply get to say you’re not a racist; not being racist — or a sexist or a homophobe — is a constant, arduous process of unlearning, of being uncomfortable, of eating crow and being humbled and re-evaluating. It’s probably hard to start that process if you’ve been told that every thought you have is golden and should be given voice, and that people who are offended by what you say are hypersensitive, irrational simpletons.
You don’t choose to be not racist without some kind of actionable change, too. Racism isn’t just a feeling or a sentiment that you can push down or throw off on a whim. You hold an opinion. You decide it’s not racist. A person of color questions it. You look at it again. You reevaluate. You say, “I never thought of it that way.” And this happens every week, or possibly every day, for the rest of your life. You grow. Little by little. It’s not an incantation. There’s no magic words. It’s hard work. But it’s good work.
Getting called racist hurts for white folks. We don’t want to believe we hold racist assumptions. We don’t want to be the villains in our own movie. But sometimes, we are. And sometimes we hurt people because of it.
*****
Next week, I’ll reply to the replies. And maybe the replies will reply back. There’s a lot more to be said, but this is where I’m ending it for now. Peace.
