VOX POPULI #010: No matter what happens on election day Sophia Urista was robbed!
Welcome to the tenth installment of an ongoing feature here at The Dip we’re calling Vox Populi, where Dirk Walker and Jonny Rice review The Voice. Last night 8 of the final 20 contestants were eliminated live in just 120 minutes. It was absolute pandemonium. The following chat was recorded live with minimal edits.
Jonny
Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirk
we are liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive
and also I downloaded the Voice app
i am *that* guy
also, Miley
jfc
Dirk
Wowowowow!
I love that tie
Jonny
i am so attracted to Miley right now
Dirk
I am too, TBH
Jonny
ladies in suits
makes me sweaty
Dirk
#SuitSweatsDotNet
Jonny
i might need to step outside
Dirk
lmao
Are you excited for these live shows???
Jonny
ummmmmm YES
and kind of nervous
and ready to vote, too!
WASTING NO TIME
First up, Team Alicia
is Alicia’s team kind of stacked?
Dirk
I think so? But here’s the thing: I don’t even care
Jonny
And now Christian Cuevas singing “Yesterday”
Jonny
I don’t think people with good voices should sing this song
it’s for us baddies
Dirk
LOL I think I have to agree with You
My internet!!! Gah
Jonny
gah gah gah ack
Dirk
It’s a good karaoke song, but it is depressing
Jonny
Sorry, Christian
pick better songs
oh lord, first the Beatles now Kylie Rothfield doing the Stones
Jonny
Kylie, what are you thinking?
Dirk
Hahaha
Jonny
she sang the “but he can’t be a man cause he doesn’t smoke cigarettes as me” part!
that’s the only good part of this song, iwbh
Dirk
Let me tell ya something
Josh needs to throw that Arby’s hat AWAY
Jonny
hahahaha
Dirk
…at least I think it was Josh
Jonny
maybe he likes the Arby’s sauce
I like the Arby’s sauce
but not as much as Josh
apparently
Dirk
lmao
I’m more of a horsey sauce man
Jonny
I want to give her all ten votes even though it wasn’t a ten vote song
I’m a homer
Dirk
This seems… excessive
Jonny
Kylie is my “This Is Us”
Dirk
-_-
YAS WÉ
Jonny
covering “Home” by Diana Ross
Dirk
and KILLING it
Jonny
oh dear lord
she is phenomenal
it’s embarrassing for everyone else
Dirk
I really think she’s gonna win it
Jonny
Josh Halverson singing some Sam Cooke!
…I don’t know about this
Dirk
I’m not crazy about the hat, but I love this cover
Jonny
“Cupid” should have a little more swing
plus he’s a little pitchy-patchy
Dirk
Haha yeah, there were a few iffy moments
Jonny
Oh my his child is crying
he did not approve of Father Josh’s performance
and now Sa’Rayah doing Etta James
“I’d Rather Go Blind”
Jonny
Alicia’s face rn!
priceless
Dirk
I feel like Sa’Rayah came to us from some alternate universe in which she was this superstar R&B singer from the 70s
Jonny
Sa’Rayah went last for a reason
Dirk
Yep. Ringer
Jonny
okay, final tally for Team Alicia
Jonny
MY VOTES ARE LOCKED
it’s ridiculous I’m not giving them all 10s
Dirk
*sound effect of vault door closing*
Jonny
I’m a monster
unreasonably mean and stingy
straight out of a biblical parable
Dirk
You are Simon Cowell!
Jonny
but with a beard
Dirk
That’s your X Factor
Jonny
okay, up now, TEAM BLAKE
I am so excited for Sundance
Dirk
SAME
Also Dana
Jonny
it’s so weird smushing all these live performances together like this
Dirk
It’s moving VERY fast
Jonny
the coaches are just kind of like there, but not?
this is the first time they’ve ever done it all in one night, I guess
Dana up first!
HALL & OATES
Dirk
I thought she was going to turn Maneater into a slow jam
Jonny
this is very much her thing though
Dirk
Oh absolutely
Jonny
easy listening, but not in a bad way
Dirk
I really like Austin’s performance!
Jonny
Austin’s singing “I Ain’t Living Long Like This” by Waylon J
Dirk
Genuine Southern Rock™
Jonny
kind of appropriate considering his dad used to play with Waylon in Buddy Holly’s band
Dirk
Yes!
Jonny
yeah, this is a fantastic cover
you can tell Austin is so comfortable on stage
Dirk
He really nailed it
Dirk
Omg Jonny
Jonny
omg what?
Dirk
SUNDANCE BRAIDED HIS BEARD
did you see it??
Jonny
hahaha no!
meanwhile, who are these people in the Kohl’s green room
were they famous singers?
Dirk
No idea
Jonny
might be old contestants
Dirk
Could be!
Jonny
wait what is Jason singing
I missed it
Dirk
It’s called “One Dance,” but I didn’t catch who sang it
Jonny
Drake and Kyla?
i’m just live googling lyrics right now
shot in the dark
Jonny
Jason REALLY likes being on stage
lol
but that was just fine, I guess?
Dirk
He always seems a little over the top
Jonny
little rascal
Dirk
Oh my lord. SUNDANCE.
Jonny
Sundance performing “Blue Ain’t Your Color” by Keith Urban and just cruising
if Sundance and Austin don’t tour together I’m murdering someone at NBC
Dirk
IKR
Jonny
jesus jesus jesus
hallelujah
EXCLAMATION MARK
Sundance is my hero
he just swings big and hits it every single time
Dirk
Give him all your points!
Jonny
now Courtney Harrell with “It Must Have Been Love” by Roxette
her voice is almost TOO powerful for this song
that key change helped A LOT
she was so much more comfortable up a little higher
Dirk
This is good, but I’m honestly still reeling from Sundance
Jonny
some strong points, but I don’t know if that was the right song choice for Courtney
oh shit
wait
they’re already doing results!
I can’t
Dirk
Wham bam!
Jonny
this is nerve wracking
haha they ran out of time to talk to all the coaches?
just Miley got to talk
Dirk
She’s all that matters lol
Jonny
the director is like KEEP THINGS RUNNING
CHRISTIAN and WÉ
Dirk
Kinda surprised by Christian
Jonny
yeah, I don’t get it, exactly?
Dirk
I think Sa’Rayah is gonna be the third
Jonny
haha Alicia
plugging her new album
get that paycheck, lady
Dirk
Lmao I know
Jonny
and Sa’Rayah is SAVED
Dirk
WHOOMP I CALLED IT
Jonny
Kylie, I will miss
RIP Kylie
Dirk
*prayer hands*
Jonny
that Christian somehow got more votes than Sa’Rayah is wack
America what is wrong with you
Dirk
I should’ve voted ( ._.)
Jonny
my Team Blake picks
Dirk
Good points distribution
MILEYS GLASSES
Jonny
you are like five seconds ahead of me lol
it’s like you’re in the future
Miley hearts Darby Walker so bad
“I couldn’t go into the lives w/o Darby”
Dirk
blech!
Jonny
why is Team Adam going last?
what a terrible idea
Dirk
lol why
Jonny
he’s got the weakest group
I would change the channel
watch a 2 1/2 Men rerun
Dirk
GROSS
Jonny
men men men men men men men men men
now we’ve got Sophia Urista doing up some Rod Stewart
Jonny
serious disco vibes
I’m digging this pretty hard!
Dirk
I really like this too!
I also love her jumpsuit
Jonny
oh sweet lord this is such a grood performance
GROOD
Dirk
Grood!!
Dirk
Hey! Darby is hatless!
Jonny
FINALLY
and she’s doing “Those Were The Days” by Mary Hopkin
which I think is based on an old Russian pop song?
Dirk
Sounds about right
Jonny
this song is very Darby
and lol at those folks in the audience
Jonny
I have no idea if it’s good or not
I’ve lost all sense of perspective
why, Darby
Dirk
She’s a Florence+the machine clone!
Jonny
well Florence is a Grace Slick clone
so it’s all good
oh no
Aaron
oh no no no
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
doing the Counting Crows
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Dirk
I laughed so hard as soon as I heard the opening riff
Ugh
Jonny
Aaron Aaron Aaron
Dirk
This is NOT good
Jonny
he’s even screwing up the chorus
so awful
Dirk
I need him to stop
Jonny
it’s like the 90s grunge kidz bop version of “Round Here”
Dirk
HAHAHAHA!!!
Jonny
the backing band is 50% to blame for this, tbh
Dirk
YES
Jonny
oh aaron
you sweet, sweet child
that was such a terrible song choice
Dirk
So so so bad
I can barely keep up with these transitions
Belle Jewel with her take on “Runaway” by Del Shannon
Dirk
Okay. I’m done with Belle. I’m not a fan of the twee-postmodern-jukebox vibe
Jonny
dirk
DO NOT MIX UP DEL SHANNON GREATNESS WITH THAT MICHAEL BUBLE CHILD
Dirk
lol they can both go!
Jonny
this is classic rock and roll
I’m so glad you’re not voting
hahahaha
Dirk
Maybe I will next week!
Meanwhile, Ali is bringing down the house
Jonny
Ali Caldwell singing “Times Have Changed” by Irma Thomas
this one isn’t too old for you Mr Modern Man Dirk Walker?
Ali is belting
Dirk
ALI ISN’T TWEE
That’s the difference!
Jonny
I thought about giving them all tens and Aaron a zero
Dirk
hahaha
I don’t know if you are enduring this in Tennessee, but the commercials here are 90% political ads
Jonny
some are
the local news is doing their version of tiny house hunters or something at 11
Dirk
Nice!
Jonny
whatever that means
OKAY TEAM BLAKE CUTS
Dirk
OH YEAH SUNDANCE
Dana next?
I’m happy with Austin!
Jonny
SUNDANCE and AUSTIN
oh my god, Blake voters are so predictable
I want to cry for/with Jason
he’s just so tiny and cute
Dirk
Yeah he is
Dirk
Courtney, really!?
Did not expect that
Jonny
I get it, only because of what she’s accomplished professionally so far on the writing side
Dirk
True
Jonny
and Dana has been consistently good, but not always great
regardless, I want to be Jason’s manager
Jason, call me
Dirk
I’d watch that sitcom
Jonny
TEAM ADAM next
who ya got
Dirk
Brendan up first
Jonny
if Billy and Simone don’t get the most votes I’m throwing a hissy fit
Dirk
I’ll join you
Jonny
Brendan‘s doing “To Love Somebody” by more artists than I can mention
I think the Bee Gees did it first, but I’m not totally sure
Jonny
well
I mean
that was…decent?
Dirk
Nothing surprising
Jonny
I was expecting a whole lot more after his Allman Brothers performance last week
oh no
terrible thought
hahahahah what if Adam saves Riley
this is 50% possible
at least 50%
that might be on the conservative side
Dirk
I will riot
But you’re totally right; it’s very possible
Jonny
and now Simone Gundy covering “Diamonds” by RiRi
Dirk
Meh
Jonny
a kind of subdued version
Jonny
another song where a singer might be too powerful for the song, imo
Rihanna doesn’t have that kind of voice
but Diamonds works well for her range
this performance is pleasant, I guess.
so many “I guess?” songs tonight
I don’t know about my judgment anymore
Adam, why did you let this happen
Dirk
So far Adam’s team is b o r i n g
Jonny
Josh Gallagher now, singing “Colder Weather” from Zac Brown Band
is Zac Brown Band just one dude?
Dirk
Nope, he’s got a whole band
Jonny
kind of ballsy naming your band after yourself
like, Ben Folds did it, but kind of like a joke
fun 90s irony
Dirk
Tell that to Van Halen! Or Bon Jovi! Or Alan Parsons!
Jonny
oh I will!
Jonny
more nice but not great
Adam might be a really bad coach
like REALLY bad
he’s won in the past though?
how
Dirk
I honestly don’t know
Wtf are you doing with them, Adam?
Jonny
oh Christian Cuevas has a religious following
Dirk
ahhh
Jonny
haha you think that might be how he won? the evangelical vote?
Dirk
It’s gotta be!
Jonny
LUCK BE A LADY
Hahahaha Riley
you goof
you dork
you unbearable idiot
Dirk
I’m gonna check out for 90 seconds
BYE
Jonny
Riley get ur head out of ur ass
Dirk
Adam is gonna keep him
Letsbehonest
Jonny
America, don’t let me down
I don’t care if I’m letting my emotions get the best of me
0 votes for Riley
for that sort of scatting thing at the end, especially
Dirk
Blech
Jonny
BILLY CLOSING THINGS OUT
Dirk
MY BOY BILLY
Jonny
oh sweet baby jesu is he really doing Roy Orbison?
Dirk
yepppp
Jonny
he started this song so high
and he still has so much higher to go
holy moley
good god in heaven
Dirk
take me to church, Billy!
I have tears in my eyes
Jonny
he is sosososo good
so talented
much Billy
Adam doesn’t deserve him
Dirk
So true
Jonny
ok TEAM MILEY results
why ask another coach who they would choose it’s cruel and unusual
Dirk
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
AARON IS MOVING ON!?
Jonny
AARON and ALI
I’m happy for Ali, but Aaron
A
A
RON
America is so dumb
Dirk
what’s wrong with our country!?
Jonny
she has to save Sophia
Dirk
Yes
1000x yes
fuck
Jonny
oh man
Darby tears
Jonny
hahahaha
SOPHIA WUZ ROBBED
Dirk
YEAH BRO
Jonny
I no longer feel anything for Miley
I like Darby and even I know this was the W-R-O-N-G choice
Dirk
Man, so sad :(
Jonny
welp
Dirk
I just want to get Adam’s team over with
Jonny
Adam in that pic
Lol
Blue Steel
what a fart
Dirk
HA!
Jonny
Blake on who he would choose: “obviously, just Billy”
but holy hell Blake likes Riley, too?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
this is an infection
Dirk
I’m done
Jonny
Adam is talking garbage from his mouth right now
trash from his lips
there’s no way his five were the best of the night
outside of Billy
Dirk
Oh no way
Or should I say “no Wé”
I wish Adam would stop talking so we can get to the results
Jonny
he’s probably got a producer in his ear
telling him to fill time
Dirk
I knowwwww
Billy is in!
NICE, AMERICA
Josh is safe
Jonny
BILLY and JOSH
so bizarre
Josh is good, but I mean
Dirk
BRENDAN!!!!!
RILEY IS OUT!
Jonny
bye Riley
hahahahahahahahaha
Dirk
THERE IS A GOD!
Jonny
what a curve ball
they had Adam stretch for time earlier and then he ran of time to decide who to save
what the what
ANYWAY
I’m glad Brendan is getting another shot
BUT MAN WAS THAT EFFIN FAST
Dirk
So fast!
Jonny
toughest eliminations for you?
Dirk
Sophia was pretty tough
She killed it tonight
Jonny
Kylie was rough for me, I just like her a lot
personally and artistically
but Sophia, that was some bullsheeeeeeet
I’m still catching my breath
Dirk
Lol
Jonny
ok, so your favorite to win, and then your prediction to win
if they are different
go!
Dirk
My favorite to win would be a toss up between Sundance and Wé, but I really think Wé is gonna win it all
And obviously Billy
Jonny
yeah, choosing between Wé and Sundance is cruel at this point
Dirk
Especially after tonight
Jonny
but Billy might have the upper-hand, only because he has such a huge following
Dirk
True
Jonny
in fact, there’s some Voice interneters who think he’s a ringer
b/c he was already a professional with a fanbase coming in
which I kind of understand, when so much emphasis is put on the popular vote
Dirk
hmm, that’s a good point
Jonny
it does give him an edge
but I have no idea how they narrow things from here
so we’ll see I guess!
Dirk
It’s going to be a good few weeks of competition!
