VOX POPULI #011: Friends in Low Places

Welcome to the eleventh installment of an ongoing feature here at The Dip we’re calling Vox Populi, where Dirk Walker and Jonny Rice review The Voice. We’re going to keep doing these even though everything seems dark and bleak and very non-celebratory, if only to complain about all the classic rock selections. We were not fans. The following chat was recorded live with minimal edits.

Dirk
Ready Freddy?
Jonny
sure I guess!!!
haha
Dirk
Lol
Jonny
you might have missed this
but lots of west coast people were really pissed off how they did voting last week

Jonny
Voice voting!
not IRL voting
lol
Dirk
Well I think it’s safe to say they were mad about that too
But I didn’t hear about the Voice voting!
Jonny
because they didn’t get to see the live show on the west coast, none of them were able to vote for their favs
Dirk
Ah!
Jonny
also, I guess RTs worked as votes, too
so artists with more twitter followers had another advantage
I’ll be surprised if they do that type of show again
Dirk
Word
Jonny
So speaking of tonight’s show
and special guest mentor Garth Brooks
do you own the 10 disc ultimate Garth Brooks collection yet???

Dirk
I’M ABOUT TO BRO
Did you see he’s rocking that Chris Gaines soul patch?
Jonny
I wonder if the hair and makeup people asked if they could shave it
Dirk
Lmao
Jonny
or asked Carson to ask him
Dirk
I hope so
Ooh, Sundance is first tonight!
Jonny
omg Sundance
“You look like you’ve been working out” to Garth
Dirk
Class Act

Jonny
I don’t know this song…”My Church” by Maren Morris
Dirk
I’ve never heard it either
Jonny
it’s current, I guess?
Dirk
I have a feeling Ima love it though
Jonny
it was nominated for a CMA!
yeah, I love it already!
Dirk
He’s setting the bar high to start the night
Jonny
Ooooo he’s got background vocalists!
this is the big time
oh hey they’re not doing the twitter RT thing for voting this week
mayhaps some controversy????
Dirk
Plot twiiiiiiiist!!

Jonny
ohjeez Sundance
he’s a total pro
just skip to the finals already
Dirk
lol I wouldn’t be mad
Jonny
what’d you think?
Dirk
I loved every second of his performance! You’re right, he’s a total pro up there
His stage presence is really superb
Jonny
yeah, the crowd was 100% eating out of the palm of his hand
that’s an underrated skill
and one you only really note when the connection ISNT there
Dirk
For sure!
Jonny
I’m already relieved it’s not as crazily-paced as last week
*phew*

Dirk
I know! It felt almost /too/ fast last week
Jonny
Next up, Darby Walker
I think you and Darby are related and that’s why you hate her
bad family blood
she ruined Christmas 2007
Dirk
If you look at our family tapestry there’s a scorch mark where her picture should be
(That’s a HP deep cut joke)
Jonny
hahahaha
Darby didn’t get the memo from last week
don’t do the Stones on the Voice
although
she’s killing the chorus
so what do I know

Dirk
I guess what grinds my gears is that the coaches talk about how unique she sounds.
SHE SOUNDS JUST LIKE FLORENCE+THE MACHINE
Unrelated
I love Miley’s Bewitched look tonight
Jonny
honestly though, everyone sounds like everyone
or everyone sounds like someone
Dirk
But it’s *identical*!
Jonny
but she didn’t wear a hat again
So I’m impressed
(I have a low bar, apparently)
Dirk
She has evolved to flower crowns

Jonny
maybe it’s her birthday resolution!
no more hats
Dirk
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Oh shit
Christian is singing The Scientist
Jonny
COLDPLAY?!?
I don’t know about this
Dirk
This song fucked me up real bad when it first came out

Jonny
I loved that first album, but every album afterwards felt like a series of diminishing returns
Dirk
Agreed
Jonny
soooooo…. um.
ahhhhhhh
Dirk
ehhhhhhhh
Jonny
I’m trying to be diplomatic
for once
this is not Christian’s best work
Dirk
…no
This song isn’t meant to be sung so over the top
Jonny
ummmmmmmm
errrrrrr
yes, you are correct

Jonny
idk, it’s not TERRIBLE
but it’s not good either?
Dirk
I was definitely not a fan
Jonny
if I had not been following the show, I’d be surprised Christian got this far after that performance
Dirk
If I was voting tonight I wouldn’t give him points :-/
Yeah, you’re right
Jonny
“I DONT JUST WÉ I SLAY”
Dirk
She’s a treasure
Jonny
Sa’Rayah doing Bon Jovi
this could be really interesting
Dirk
I’m kinda cringing already
Jonny
I love her hair and wardrobe, however
Dirk
Same!
The song is a bit lackluster for me though
Jonny
yeah, and the fact that she’s not really singing the chorus is…
Yikes
just kind of a series of regrettable decisions
Dirk
not great… (._.)

Jonny
and I REALLY disagree with Miley here
these rock ballads don’t show the best parts of Sa’Rayah’s voice
Dirk
Not at all!
Jonny
not ballads
wrong word
rock rockers
Dirk
lol rock rockers
Jonny
hahaha whatever the opposite of ballad is
and now
B-I-L-L-Y
BILLY AND GARTH ARE BUDDIES
Dirk
IM SQUEEING
Jonny
more like SQUEENING
bc Freddie Mercury
and singing “The Show Must Go On”
Dirk
lmao u right
Jonny
I made a Dirk joke!
Dirk
That was very much a dirk joke!
Give. Me. His. Outfit.

Jonny
I don’t know how many times I can type this, but every line Billy sings is just so effortless
I wished he’d picked a hook-ier song though
what’s up with all the classic rock songs tonight
classic rock + Coldplay
classic rock adjacent
Dirk
Trying to get the dad demo tonight

Jonny
this is good, but Billy has had better moments
Dirk
Great performance!
Yeah, not my fave Billy performance, but I liked it
Jonny
Adam lol, such a frat boy
trying to get the audience all riled up
Dirk
I call him Chadam
Jonny
hahaha
Blake speaking from the heart
Dirk
Huge compliment from Blake too
Wow, Adam with the heartfelt comments too
Jonny
It’s a love fest and I’m not complaining
now Austin Alsup
oh nice, doing Aretha

Jonny
singing “Do Right Woman, Do Right Man”
Dirk
“Do Right Dad”
Sometimes I think Austin could be a secret Franco brother
Jonny
Haha there’s so many of them it could be true
Austin is hilariously starstruck around Garth
don’t screw this song up Austin!

Dirk
So far so good!
Jonny
yeah, solid start for Austin. he really knew what he wanted to do with this song.
and I think it helps being a vocalist AND a musician AND a band leader.
especially in deciding how to arrange these songs for televised performance.
Dirk
Bonus points for not being classic rock
Jonny
both he and Sundance picked great songs
I mean, great songs for them personally
Dirk
Yes indeed
Jonny
that was my favorite performance from Austin so far.
he was barely on my radar for the first few weeks, but he’s definitely one of my favs at this point
Dirk
He’s been very surprising over the course of this competition
I’ve come to like him quite a bit too
Jonny
okay Wé, do your thing
even Ellen knows Wé is amazing!

Jonny
2nd church song of the night
Dirk
Yes lord amen
Oh my
Jonny
I still think this Hozier song went bad after the second time I heard it
Dirk
hahahahaha
Jonny
Wé should replace Hozier in his own band
I don’t know if that’s his name or just the band name
I honestly don’t care
Dirk
I’m 1000% in favor of this plan
WÉ AMONG THE PEOPLE
Jonny
I’ve run out of words to describe her performances

Jonny
superlative
Dirk
*gif of the typing icon stopping and starting on an endless loop*
Jonny
I can’t believe they’re only eliminating one artist tonight
Dirk
It’s gonna be tough
Jonny
haha I meant the exact opposite
I could lose 5 or 6 of these artists easy!
i’m heartless

Dirk
Lol!
Jonny
btw are you going to watch this dolly parton christmas special?
Dirk
um
nah
Jonny
i’m gutted
now Aaron’s turn
I’m also so ready for Aaron to go
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA\
FATHER
JOHN
MISTY
Dirk
He’s too dorky to sing FJM
Jonny
Josh Tillman gettin that NBC MONEY

Dirk
Lol mmmhmm
Jonny
“Hollywood Forever Cemetery Sings” is such a bizarre song
and even doubly so for The Voice
Dirk
Ok he can go home now
Jonny
I can’t believe this is happening
this is so boring
how is this so boring
this is not a boring song
Miley is not a boring coach
Dirk
Look who’s singing

Jonny
hahahaha
good point
POINTS
is that joke still relevant?
Dirk
It is to me!
I think I fell asleep for a second
Jonny
Chris Hardwick and Father John Misty, fellow assholes on the road of life
Dirk
BOOM ROASTED
Jonny
except I kind of like some of FJM’s songs
don’t tell anyone
Dirk
Don’t worry, I do too
I put on my wide brimmed felt hat and get baptized in the glory of fjm
Jonny
i was searching for Tillman’s twitter to see if he mentioned any of this
and apparently he deleted it!
over a year ago!
I’m just not hip with the trends
Dirk
of course he did!

Jonny
Courtney Harrell continues the classic rock theme tonight
I mean, Aerosmith what the heck
Dirk
I was hoping she was gonna sing “Love in an Elevator”
Jonny
not *technically* classic rock, since “I Don’t Want to Miss A Thing” is from 1998
but still, what’s going on
Dirk
It’s the dads, man!
Jonny
yes, Garth and Blake, I am also glad she is not singing this song to her son
Dirk
They want dads to enjoy the voice!

Jonny
Dad Nite™
I just
I mean
Courtney is so much better than this
this part is good
maybe
who knows
I don’t
nevermind
Dirk
Meh, it’s alright
Jonny
like you said earlier about Christian doing Coldplay
this is a song that doesn’t handle embellishments very well
Dirk
Who do you think is going home right now?
Jonny
hopefully Aaron

Dirk
Agreed. Christian might go tonight
Jonny
don’t forget, Christian’s got the church vote!
Dirk
But the evangelicals! Yes!
Jonny
it’s wild there was so much time between the blinds/battles/knockouts and the live shows
like a full month?
Josh G got married?
Dirk
Are we watching a new Linklatter film?
Is this boyhood 2???
Jonny
Garth says such nice things
so Josh is singing Jason Aldean’s “why”
a conservative choice
this is nice
a nice performance
like a ginger ale
or an ice cream cone at dairy queen

Dirk
Lololololol
It’s true though
Jonny
ANYWAY
solid performance for Josh
should get him through this round
Dirk
Yeah, it was good
Jonny
did Carson just say Ali is singing Leonard Cohen?????
Dirk
t o o s o o n
Jonny
I hope to god it’s not “Hallelujah”
Dirk
I hope it’s “Chelsea Hotel”
Jonny
she’s only had like four days to rehearse!
UNLESS SHE KNEW
we should start a rumor
ALI DID IT
Dirk

Jonny
what the what am I looking it rn
Dirk
It me
Jonny
are you a cult leader now?
Dirk
This is to be leaked if I ever run for office
ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED
Jonny
you and PBO

Dirk
He’s fun at the meetings
Jonny
“Did I Ever Love You” could work really well for Ali
I wonder what they were working on before Friday though?
also, everyone has had background singers tonight
I was impressed at the beginning for no reason
Dirk
Top 12 Privilege™

Dirk
oh jeez, ALI
This is very good
Jonny
this song is working out REALLY well for her
Dirk
This almost feels like a Whitney Houston arrangement
Jonny
I did not expect Ali to outperform Sa’Rayah and Courtney tonight but damn.
a little flat here and there, but she’s singing this like she’s known this song for a lot longer than a few days
great song selection by Miley and Ali

Dirk
Very very good
Jonny
and also, not to be a dog
but jfc that dress
Dirk
Stunning!
Jonny
hello nurse gif
Dirk
*nods appreciatively*
Lol
I literally forgot Brendan was still on the show
Jonny
Brendan, singing the Allman Brothers
you’re totally right
it’s Dad Night
unofficial/official
Dirk
Without a doubt
Jonny
maybe it’s because I’m not a dad
but I’m not really feeling this
Sorry, Brendan
I generally like you!
Dirk
I just realized Aaron is the poor man’s Brendan
Jonny
wait, didn’t he do the Allman Bros previously?
Dirk
I think he did!
Jonny
he did! Soulshine!
And whoa it’s already 10 o’clock!
they’re running over!

Jonny
TIMELESS fans are freaking out
Dirk
They can just travel back in time and watch it again or something
Jonny
wibbly-wobbly
okay, quick wrap-up
favs of the night?
Dirk
Sundance, Billy, Wé, Austin,and Ali
In no particular order
Jonny
yeah Sundance and Wé for sure

Jonny
there’s the rest
though I reserve the right to change my votes by noon tomorrow
Dirk
Lmao Aaron
He deserved it though
Jonny
Aaron’s got to go!

Jonny
I guess we’ll find out tomorrow night!
and see you next week Voicettes!
Dirk
Byeeeee!

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