Leadership | How diplomats build networks
And what you can learn from them
Zed Tarar
The term “networking” immediately brings to mind forced small talk in hotel boardrooms with frantic business-card swapping and little meaningful conversation or connection. This is precisely why professional diplomats rarely ever engage in this sort of mercantile networking, and yet much of an envoy’s duty is to build relationships and make new contacts. Without having an understanding of the foreign country in which one is assigned, or without the right contacts within foreign governments, effective diplomacy is hard to implement.
Indeed, building a network based on meaningful relationships versus transactional connections is the subject of a book by Susan McPherson, The Lost Art of Connecting, in which she argues that going beyond the superficial is the key to success. Similarly, diplomats depend on trust and on personal contacts to gather information, communicate intentions, and cut through noise to execute foreign policy. These same practices can work for recent university graduates or early career professionals as they seek to establish themselves in a field and progress in their personal trajectory.
1. Define your objectives
This may seem self-evident, but it is nonetheless a crucial step in building a network of contacts. Ask yourself: what are my goals? Am I switching careers, looking for help starting an NGO, or staying current on trends in my industry? Admittedly, this is simpler for diplomats on assignment, who may look for relationships with human rights advocates while working in Geneva on the UN Human Rights Council, or with climate specialists while preparing for COP26. While defining your goals it is important not to tie potential relationships too closely with specific outcomes. For example, the diplomat in Geneva would seek a broad network with diverse views and in differing industries to avoid creating a myopic understanding of issues she is working on. To put it in Kantian philosophical terms, people should be viewed as ends in themselves and not as a means to an end.
2. Offer assistance
Begin by asking what expertise or perspective you can bring to any potential relationship. Perhaps you are a recent architecture graduate who can bring an eye for design to a project or initiative, or a budding expert on Turkish language that could bring perspective to an audience less versed in Anatolian affairs. Once again, avoid the temptation to think in transactional terms. Sometimes simply connecting with someone without a preconceived agenda is precisely the best way to build a relationship. Nonetheless, taking stock of your own expertise and perspective is an important step in planning your approach to making new contacts.
3. Look for common ground
Approaching a relative stranger is uncomfortable for many, especially those who count themselves as introverts. To help ease the introduction, look for commonalities. Perhaps the common ground is a shared contact or university or previous employer — anything that could serve as an entrée. Remember, most alumni are happy to connect with new graduates, especially if the exchange is two-way. Similarly, experts in a given field will usually respond favorably to anyone expressing interest in their work, especially if there is a shared passion on a given topic. Diplomats do this regularly, asking for expert opinions on a myriad of topics from academia, think tanks, and the like, often without having a prior relationship with the expert in question. Recent graduates should look to their alumni associations, which are often fonts of meaningful connections.
4. Remove expectations
The heart of a transactional relationship is approaching it with a well-defined outcome in mind, and conversely, a deeper connection is often forged when expectations are set aside in favor of simply establishing a bond for its own sake. As any good diplomat will attest, the ties that lead to diplomatic breakthroughs are based on mutual respect, trust, and candor. John Gilbert Winant, the U.S. ambassador to the United Kingdom during World War II, forged a close personal relationship with Winston Churchill. That close personal relationship was credited as helping sway President Roosevelt into providing greater support to Britain and eventually for entering into the war. Had either Churchill or Winant predicated their interactions on their ultimate goals, they may never have forged the friendship that proved so critical.
5. Stay curious
Finally, remember to approach potential professional relationships with an open mind and curiosity. Not every new contact or associate contributes to professional success (nor does it need to), but having a wide array of relationships is more likely to yield benefits in the long run. In addition, intellectual curiosity will inevitably allow you to engage in meaningful conversation, which in turn will lead to a deeper relationship. Diplomats themselves tend to be a curious bunch — forever seeking new adventures in far-off lands and new allies in unexpected places.
Zed Tarar is a career member of the U.S. Foreign Service and is currently serving in London. He is a contributing writer for the Diplomatic Pouch.
Disclaimer: While Zed Tarar is a career U.S. diplomat, the views expressed here are his own and do not necessarily reflect those of the Department of State or the U.S. government.
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