A Commenter’s Advice on Giving a “Real” Disciplinary Spanking

A very real summary of what a “real” disciplinary spanking is like, from the giver’s perspective.

Generated by author using AI image generator Dream by WOMBO

Hello all. I’m sorry I haven’t written in a while. I find that as spring approaches, “real life” tends to intrude and rob me of the time required to put an article together. Plus, where I live you need to jump on the nice days when they happen this time of year, because if you blink it will change back to cold and miserable.

Before plunging in, I wanted to highlight the image at the top of this article. I spent some time last week playing around with AI-based image generators. To a large extent, I was just curious about the technology. But, part of the impetus for the exploration was frustration with the amount of time it takes to find free and licensable pictures that have some kind of disciplinary or Female Led Relationship (FLR) vibe.

I really like the above image though, unfortunately, it was the best of a fairly unsatisfactory bunch. Most of the platforms seem to really struggle with hands and with instructions that tell the AI generator to show someone holding something. Some of them came close, but even the best tended to look something like this:

Generated by author using AI image generator DALL-E 2

Anyway . . . I’m about to go off on a little adventure for several days and don’t have time to write a full article on a discreet topic related to Female Led Relationships and domestic discipline.

So, instead, I thought I would provide this depiction of what a “real” disciplinary spanking is like. It was left by an anonymous commenter on a blog I’ve been associated with for several years.

Although I can quibble with it in a few respects, it does pretty accurately summarize my own experiences on the receiving end of real disciplinary spankings.

I’ve also provided a comment that an anonymous disciplinary wife left in response to the three-part anonymous comment.

Enjoy!

Anonymous Comment — Part 1

Most of the men on this board claim to want real punishment. In a domestic discipline relationship, the punishments need to be harsh enough to change behaviors, but even those who just have this as a fantasy still want the actual punishment part to be real. Real in this case means unpleasant enough that you are hating it at the time it happens.

One common “complaint” that I have read on this blog is that husbands want firmer discipline than their wives give. Earlier comments talked about how the husband can be brought to the point of surrendering to the spanking more easily. Whether it is because the wife is not punishing correctly or because the husband isn’t able to surrender, it is clear that many men are not getting what they want and need so badly.

So if you are a wife, what do you do if your husband shares his need for discipline with you, whether in a fantasy context or in a DD or FLR context?

First off, don’t even try to understand why he wants or needs this, because if he doesn’t understand (and he probably doesn’t), then there is no chance of you understanding! But even if you cannot understand why he needs this, talk with him to try to understand just exactly what it is that he is wanting, and then agree on what things you will punish him for and any other parameters. Assuming he wants “real” punishment, here are some tips for a real punishment with an emphasis on the all-important mental aspects:

Anonymous Comment — Part 2

• Decide for yourself that the punishment WILL continue until he reaches surrender. Resolve that you will see this punishment through and give him what he really needs.
• Start by telling him what he did wrong and how it made you feel. Scold him harshly, because shame is a critical part of punishment. Don’t hold back at all, use a very strong voice, and be as “bitchy” as you can bring yourself to be. Don’t worry, the bitchier you are, the more he will love you for it later! By the time you are done he should feeling horrible about what he has done and be almost relieved to move onto the painful part just to be done with the lecture.
• Tell him that you are going to give him a long, hard spanking. Make sure that he understands just how painful it is going to be and that it will go on until he is truly sorry, plus some. Use phrases like “until you can’t sit for a week” to make it more intimidating. He needs to understand that it will be more than he can endure and that he will be pushed past the limit of what he can take, but he will have to take it anyway. This will help him to surrender to it later.
• Scolding can continue through any part of the punishment, including corner time.
• If you want to give him a warm-up spanking, do it now. It will give him something to think about as he waits for the real punishment to start. Use either your hand or a hairbrush and start softly, but increase the speed and force until it starts to really sting.
• Now put him in the corner with his bare bottom on display to wait for the real punishment. Make him wait 10–15 minutes which will seem like an eternity to him and he will feel very ashamed, even if he is used to you seeing him naked.
• Begin the actual punishment. Now it is time to use something much more severe than your hand, like a paddle or a heavy strap. Hit harder than you think you should, with most of your strength. From the first stroke, the pain should be a shock to him and it should build to become completely unbearable. Don’t forget to keep scolding him.
• At first, he may take it pretty well. You can be proud that he is taking it like the man that he is (after all he is your man!) but both of you should know that the “taking it like a man” won’t last. You will continue until he is reduced to feeling like a naughty boy, and then punish the naughty right out of him!
• As you keep punishing him, you will see that he will start to struggle. This is very difficult because you love him and don’t want to hurt him, but keep in mind:

WHAT HE NEEDS AND WANTS IS A PUNISHMENT SO SEVERE THAT HE DOESN’T WANT IT AT THE TIME.

• As he struggles more, he will tell you that he has had enough and that he has learned his lesson, but let him know that the punishment is going to continue until he is very sorry, and that he is nowhere near sorry enough yet. Continue scolding him, and increase the speed and power of the spanking, showing no mercy. Remember that he has a safeword and he hasn’t used it (and probably won’t since he really needs this).
• Ignore how red he gets. By the time you are finished, his bottom will probably look horrible. Don’t worry, as long as you are hitting only his bottom it is almost impossible to injure him and he will heal very quickly.

Anonymous Comment — Part 3

• The shame and pain will grow until he simply can’t take any more, and at that point you will see that he will relax and stop fighting the punishment. If you can see that he is not reaching the point of surrendering to the punishment, take a break and put him in the corner to think for a while, and also to regain some sensitivity, since the bottom becomes numb pretty quickly.
• Continue until he surrenders to the punishment. Unless he says the safeword, the punishment will continue as long and as hard as necessary to bring about this surrender. Note that you are looking for surrender, and not necessarily tears, since some men may cry and others will not. It has nothing to do with how physically or emotionally strong they are, and is just how they are wired. If it is hard for you to see your man cry, remember that in fact some of the strongest men cry much more easily than others who are weaker and less secure.
• Once he surrenders, it is up to you how long to continue, but don’t stop immediately since this is the most productive part of the punishment and now real learning is taking place. A good rule of thumb is to treat this as the 3/4 point of the punishment so punish him about another 1/4 as much as you have to this point.
• And now finally the punishment will be over. He will probably be somewhat physically and emotionally drained. It is very important to be close to him and to hold on to him. If you are like me, you will feel closer to him now than at any other time so enjoy the time.

A real punishment like I just described is very difficult for many wives to administer, since even those who love the thrill of control and who really understand that this is exactly what their husband needs still find it difficult to be so harsh and to do something so painful. They love their husband and don’t want to see him suffer.

But no matter how hard it is to do, if your husband has this need and if you fulfill it you will see that he will be much happier, more content, more loving, and more relaxed for weeks or even a month afterwards, which makes a difficult hour of punishment more than worth it for both of you.

Anonymous Response

As a disciplinary wife, I can say that yes it is very difficult sometimes to punish my husband like this. I know that he needs this, I have seen how it has transformed his attitudes and behavior, I know that he really wants this except for sometimes when it is actually happening, and I know that as soon as it is over he will start forgetting just how painful it was and it won’t be long until he is wanting or needing another.

As I prepare to punish him, I know all these things. Usually, I can’t wait to show him some of the strong emotions I am feeling and let his bottom feel the results of his bad decisions.

So I am always ready to punish him good and hard until I am sure that he learned his lesson.

But then as the spanking gets harder and I can see that he is really hurting it is so hard to keep going because I love him and just want to stop and forgive him. But when I am able to keep going and give him a lot more than he wants at the time until he just gives up and thinks it will never end, it is so powerful.

These punishments completely clear everything between us and I am able to let go of all the emotions I am feeling and he feels all the guilt leave and feels like he got just what he needs and I see that it leaves him calm and at peace. After one of these spankings we feel so close to each other. These hard punishments are not easy for me to give but they are so good for our relationship.

I hope you enjoyed these thoughts on what a “real” disciplinary spanking entails. As I said, I can quibble with bits and pieces. For example, we don’t do corner time after a warm-up. We don’t use a safe word. And, I would advise not starting “hard and heavy” if the goals is to bring him to a point of surrender; going too hard at the beginning, with no warm-up, is more likely to cause him to “man up,” which gets in the way of a real surrender.

But, those nits aside, I thought it was a very realistic description of the kind of spanking many disciplinary wives are aiming for and that many disciplined husbands say they want.

If you would like to discuss these issues directly but don’t feel comfortable leaving a public comment, feel free to reach out to me directly at dwc_husband@proton.me. You can also use Medium to leave me a private note. Just highlight part of the article, which brings up the box with bold, italics, etc. Click on the box that shows a comment/quote bubble with a little lock inside. It allows you to send a private note that will be visible to me but not to the public.