Who will I BE after retirement?
Addressing retirement fears with brain science.
For some, retirement feels like crossing a marker on a racetrack — a goal to celebrate and then move past. But for others, retirement feels more like stepping into a dark forest. Instead of a clearly defined path, there are no set directions, no guides to tell you what to do or who to be. And that lack of direction or purpose can be just as frightening as the financial uncertainty of retirement.
This fear can stem from a variety of different factors, including the fact that, for many of us, much of our identity is tied to work. Certified financial planner Cathy Gearig says that many of her clients are “financially ready before they’re emotionally ready.” That’s because they have “prioritized work to the point where they can’t imagine life without it.”
Let’s consider this from a brain science perspective.
If you’re familiar with our company, The Disruptive Element, you know we highly value brain science! That’s because human behavior is governed by our neuro networks — our emotions, habits, tendencies, and reactions are all tied back to our brains. If we develop a better understanding of how our brains operate, we enable ourselves to gradually shift our thinking, change our habits, or understand our emotions or reactions. In short, brain science is a powerful tool for self-development and creating lasting change!
So, retirement. How does your brain react to such a major life change?
The short answer? It doesn’t like it. Why? A few factors are likely at play:
1. Fear of the Unknown
When faced with the unknown, the brain becomes stressed and our limbic system (the brain’s emotional center) “lights up.” Part of that limbic system is the amygdala — that almond-shaped part of the brain that reacts to fear and is often associated with our “fight or flight” instinct.
Studies have shown that when people are faced with uncertainty, the amygdala becomes overly active, making us anxious or “hypervigilant.” If you’re staring down a major life change, it is natural to experience a certain level of anxiety. Your “uncertainty instincts” have kicked in, and they’re trying to protect you (in the same way they protected our ancestors from venturing into unknown territory or eating mystery berries!)
Retrain Your Brain:
When you’re on the precipice of a major life change such as retirement, it’s a good idea to make intentional preparations. Plan for what comes next, whether that means leaning into a favorite hobby, traveling, spending time with family, joining a club, volunteering, or any other area where you’d like to focus your attention. By concentrating on what you can control, you give yourself a direction and a purpose, which can help alleviate anxiety.
To help people better define their personal paths and goals, we highly encourage designating a significant chunk of time to reflect, set meaningful goals, and plan the next steps. Programs such as our Destination Element coaching program can provide much-needed guidance and provide the type of focus many of us need to plan our next steps.
2. A Love of Routines
Another reason your brain may balk at retirement has to do with familiarity. Our brains love patterns and certainty. Familiar routines are comfortable — they provide stability and a sense of “rightness.” If you’ve ever traveled to a drastically different time zone, you know how jarring it can feel to adjust your internal clock. And the same is true with any familiar part of your routine (drinking a cup of morning coffee, starting work at a certain time, interacting with the same set of people, etc.).
Retrain Your Brain:
If you’ve stuck to a similar work routine for several decades, it is natural to resist a new pattern. Changing any habit, minor or major, involves neuroplastic change in the brain. Neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to change and adapt by making new connections or reorganizing the neuro network. In layman’s terms: Neuroplasticity = brain adaptability.
We used to think brains were fairly incapable of change after childhood — that their plasticity was fixed. Now, we know that isn’t true. It is possible to form new habits and adapt to major change if you are intentional in your methods and keep at it. It is also smart to take incremental steps. You might continue waking up at the same time, for instance, but instead of going on your usual commute, you could opt to take a walk instead. Instead of busying yourself with work during the day, you could volunteer for a nonprofit or engage in a meaningful hobby. In essence, you’re swapping one routine for another.
Keep brain science in mind as you begin to make changes and understand that every time you engage in your new routine, you are strengthening “young” neuropathways. Eventually, these new pathways will feel natural and will become comfortable. Take your time and be intentional!
3. The Impulse to Connect
We are social beings. Even if you consider yourself an introvert, some part of you is wired to enjoy and even crave a certain amount of human interaction. This impulse dates back to our cavepeople days when group living meant survival. We developed the ability to effectively coexist, which meant we developed a “social brain.” According to a paper published in Frontiers in Psychology, “The social brain is the cornerstone that effectively negotiates and navigates complex social environments and relationships.” It is predisposed to feel empathy, interpret group dynamics, and forge connections with others.
When you work in the same place for decades, you inevitably make friends (or, at the very least, you become accustomed to the presence of certain people!). You learn how to navigate office culture and understand workplace dynamics. These faces, voices, thoughts, and opinions become familiar. And, for many of us, the bulk of our social interactions are work-related.
What happens when that all goes away?
You may feel unexpectedly lonely or isolated. Your days might seem unnervingly quiet. A lack of regular interactions may even make you feel depressed or anxious. How can you overcome this?
Retrain Your Brain:
While making new friends or acquaintances comes naturally to some, many of us struggle. When you retire, you may have to fight with your brain’s natural fear of the unknown (see point one) and get out of your “friendship comfort zone.” Showing up at a new golf club, joining a committee, volunteering, or participating in a meet-up event may be anxiety-inducing at first, but your brain will gradually become accustomed to this type of interaction (remember those new neuropathways?). Keep in mind that your brain is naturally social, and eventually some of those interactions will lead to friendships.
Retirement is a major milestone, and should be something to celebrate, not fear! If you feel nervous about the prospect of retirement, it is helpful to retrain your brain to embrace the unknown, establish a new routine, and forge new connections. There is life post-retirement, and it can be a damn good one!
Need help with planning your future? Get away, disconnect, and focus on creating your own personal business model in our 3.5-day program, Accelerating Focus, at the beautiful and remote Stout’s Island Lodge, WI.
If you’d like some additional guidance on your path to retirement, please be in touch.
