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The Illusion of Control and the Claiming of Personal Agency
A controlled life is not only exhausting — it’s also deeply unkind to ourselves.
The Americans Dreaming of Control
There is something uniquely American about wanting to have control over our lives.
We want to believe that we alone can dictate our future. Why do we want this? Because we have been told we can do it since the time we were children.
We are surrounded by ideas of self-control, self-mastery, self-discipline. Inundated by methods to get in the driver’s seat of our lives, take charge, claim ownership, stake ground, gain command — whatever the catchphrase of the day is. Self-help books, corporate seminars, and advice from everything from relationships to diet to finances revolve around how to bring this world to heel before us.
Manifest, we are told. The world is our oyster, we are promised.
But — what if letting go of control could bring about more freedom, more joy, and more peace than a tidy, organized, micro-managed life?
There is a common thread that runs through popular American ideas such as do-it-yourself, bootstrap mentality, hustle culture, and rugged…
