The Illusion of Control & the Shift to Agency

Question the underlying myth and propaganda under “do-it-yourself” culture.

How, when, and who told you that your life is under your direct control?

Did it start with a parent, who told you you could be anything you want to be? A coach who motivated you by saying that winners never quit and quitters never win? A boss who continually reminded you that hey, if you just hustle, grind, and take that 5% raise each year, the corner office will one day be yours?

There are many phrases and ideas that spring from this myth: the “self-made man,” “rugged individualism,” “rags to riches”, “DIY”, and other such us-against-the-world, solitary visions of what life is supposed to be like in the West.

What if the idea of having personal control over the outcomes in our lives is not only false but one of the most painful illusions we’ve been sold — one that leaves us anxious, ashamed, and stuck?

At first, these ideas sounded empowering. They made us feel important. They hooked us all. And sometimes, they seemed to work.