Influence, Asking, and Calming Down
In this issue of The Dolphin, we talk the impact we have on others, ways to get referrals for our business, and tactics to calm down through it all.
⭐️ How Much Influence Do You Have On Others?
More than you think.
To understand why, look no further than where our focus normally lies: on how others are influencing us.
When we go through life, we see our own self as a primary subject. We head into the gym, music pumping through our AirPods, and someone next to us rolls their eyes. That person has made us feel uncomfortable, or like a nuisance.
We meet a new client for the first time, and they tell us at the end of the consultation how incredible of a fit we appear to be. They made us feel worthy, successful, confident.
We are the main character of our movie, and everyone else is bothering us, or satisfying us, or motivating us. Everyone else is influencing us.
How often do we stop and recognize the effect we have on others?
In reality, and through everyday actions both small and big (the compliments we pay, the feedback we give, the greetings we share), we are influencing so many other people, in more ways than we even know.
The more we recognize and remind ourselves of this, the more we can seize opportunities to (positively and generously!) affect others.
Don’t believe me?
Consider the results of a recent experiment, highlighted by one of my favourite podcasts, Hidden Brain.
- They gather a group of fundraisers, and ask the fundraisers how many people they think they’ll need to approach in order to hit a certain goal.
- The members estimate 10. In their estimate, they share their fears about how the people they approach will make them feel (“they’ll make me feel like I’m pushy”; “they’ll make me feel guilty for asking, and say no to me”)
- The result: the participants needed to ask less than half of the amount of people they estimated. Why were they more successful than they anticipated? Consider what the donors said…
- The donors tied their actions in large part to how the fundraisers made them feel ( “they made me feel like this is a good cause”; “they made me feel guilty, as if I couldn’t say no”)
What now?
When you walk the halls of your office on a Tuesday morning, or sit down for a coffee with a prospective client, remember: you are, for better and for worse and through your words, gestures, and body language, actively making a mark on the others you interact with.
🙋🏾♂️ Ask and You Shall Receive
91% of customers say they’d be happy to provide a referral to a company they had a pleasant experience with.
How many salespeople actually ask? Only 11%.
Why this stat should matter to you:
- Lead gen doesn’t always have to be complicated. When you’re crafting your acquisition strategy (and using 🔥 insights from last week’s issue on lead gen), don’t forget that more often than not, you have a high quality and existing source of leads to tap into via your existing customer base.
- More broadly, never assume that other people know what you want, even if it’s so plainly obvious. This is as applicable to your business as it is to your life. If someone is single, they should not assume that their close coupled friends will instinctively know to set them up with other eligible singles in their network. Not all people who went to Japan will be aware enough to offer up all of their recommendations when you tell them you’re going there too. Most customers won’t think proactively about referrals. Not everyone is a mind-reader.
Don’t be afraid to ask. More times than you are expecting, you will receive.
🚪 Three Apps to Calm My Nervous System
To say I ‘run anxious’ is an understatement. I think a lot of business owners can relate.
Here are 3 apps I’ve been using lately, to calm my nervous system:
- Othership App (structured breathwork sessions) // if you don’t want to pay, consider a few handy breathwork exercises: 4–7–8; box breathing; and 7–11 breathing.
- Notes (yes, the notes app on your phone, for list-making and journalling)
- StretchIt (for guided body stretching sessions)
👋 for now, and keep an eye out for an email next week!
Best,
Jeffrey
