Ask Scratchy: I Failed Everyone. How Do I Go On?

Korra of ‘The Legend of Korra’ needs some advice, and our house head shrinker, Dr. Scratchansniff, is here to help.

Welcome to Ask Scratchy, a monthly column in which the Animaniacs’ top psychiatric mind answers the tough questions for cartoon characters from the four corners of the Earth. To submit a question, email the good doctor at askscratchansniff@gmail.com.

Dear Dr. Scratchansniff,

Is it true that that failure isn’t fatal? Because I’ve failed, and I’m not sure how I’m going to move forward. Avatar Aang and Fire Lord Zuko rebuilt our fractured nation so that we could live peacefully. All benders — Earth, Fire, Air, and Water — and nonbenders lived in perfect harmony and I, the new Avatar, am responsible for maintaining that balance among the nations and the elements. Don’t get me wrong, Doc: I’m a natural. By the time I could walk, I mastered water, fire, and earthbending. With a little hard work I mastered airbending too. Since being named the new Avatar, though, my natural talents have proven less and less useful. I’ve failed my people, Doc, and I don’t know what to do.

Sure, I prevented Amon from wiping the benders out of existence, but I was tricked by my evil Uncle Unalaq into opening up the spirit portal. Sure, ultimately opening the portal allowed humans and spirits to co-exist for the first time since the first Avatar, Wan. It seemed to also usher in a new age: the Air Nation, slaughtered by the Fire Nation in the Hundred Year War, has been reborn. Even Avatar Aang’s eldest son, Bumi, can Air bend now!

Our nation is definitely going to need the airbenders now. Unalaq merged with the spirit Vaatu and became the Dark Avatar, overpowering me and severing my connection to my past lives. Do you understand how serious this is, Doc? This means that I not only lose my ability to harness the power of my predecessors, it also means that I’ve cut access to that strength, wisdom, and character off for all of the Avatars to come. What’s going to happen when I inevitably have to face another person looking to cast our great nations off balance? And if I die, will there even be another Avatar? Avatar Aang may have been known as the last airbender, but I might be the last Avatar altogether.

TL;DR, Doc: I’ve not just failed myself and my people, I’ve failed every member of the Air, Fire, Water, and Earth nations to come. I don’t think I can continue to fulfill my role as Avatar when I feel like such a stupid, weak loser.

Sincerely,

Agonizing, Vulnerable, Anxious, Traumatized, In Real Emotional Despair

Guten tag, AVATIRED,

What an overwhelming situation you’re in, AVATIRED. The foes you’ve faced are like waves, each one bigger and stronger than the last. Sure, you were able to jump or swim through the first few, but now those waves are tsunami sized and you’re ready to let them drag you under and take you out to sea. I don’t blame you, AVATIRED; what you went through with Unalaq was traumatic. You did not come out of the other side of that battle an undeniable hero; you came out of it as a fallible, imperfect human.

I have good news for you, AVATIRED: it is okay to be human. Perhaps your people aren’t used to their spiritual leader faltering, and sure, there are probably people bad mouthing you and calling for your resignation (if you can resign from being an Avatar?). At the same time, I’m sure there are people singing your praises, whispering not only about how brave and strong you were in your fight against the Dark Avatar, but also about how your vulnerability makes you all the more relatable. I bet that’s inspiring your people, AVATIRED: if you can fight bravely, fail, and get back on your feet, your people can too.

And did you really fail, AVATIRED? You said yourself that opening the spirit portal ushered in both a new age of harmony between people and spirits and a new generation of the previously extinct airbenders. You literally restored balance to the physical and spirit worlds in a way that no Avatar has done before. You may not have maintained the balance created by Avatar Aang and Fire Lord Zuko, but you have fulfilled your duty to keep the nations and the elements balanced.

I have to ask you, though: are you the only person responsible for keeping the nations at peace? What about each nation’s government? I’d imagine that there’s still a Fire Lord, and if there’s a Fire Lord then there’s an Earth Queen and a Water Tribe Chief. I bet there was even a head of state for the Air Nomads. What about their militaries? I can’t imagine there being a more important war to fight than one against a Dark Avatar.

I realize this is a bit of a digression, but I want you to be very clear about this: you are not alone. All of the nations are invested in living harmoniously, and fighting together to stop their common enemy is about as harmonious as it gets.

I know that hearing this all from me isn’t terribly powerful. After all, I’m just some shrink writing a column for an online mag! Luckily you don’t have to take my word for it. Go to your loved ones, your friends, your family, your confidants, and ask them for support. Maybe one day you need to hear your partner affirm your boldness, strength, and independence. The next you might want to ask your parents for their sagacious advice on how they recovered from setbacks in their youth. In a week you’re out and about with your friends, regaling them with tales about your fighting feats and political power plays. We are, after all, the company we keep. And if the company you keep thinks you’re a success, how can you be a failure?

Social support will undoubtably help you feel more confident, but you need to also start to building your self-esteem back up yourself by doing activities that provide you joy, help you hone your skills, and make you feel whole. If you’re still feeling shaky when it’s time to get back into Avatar action, make what we in the field call an exposure hierarchy, of course with the help of a trained therapist. An integral component of exposure therapy, the exposure hierarchy allows us to slowly and methodically work up to a feared situation while learning how to manage our anxiety about that situation. For example, let’s say you’re afraid of spiders. The lowest tier on the hierarchy, or the activity that would cause the least amount of anxiety, might be looking at a photo of a spider. Next could be watching a video of a spider and so on and so forth until you’re bathing in a tub of spiders without any anxiety whatsoever. To be fair, a bathtub full of spiders sounds pretty objectively horrifying, but I think you get the point.

If you can build up your confidence and break down your anxiety, you’ll be back in Avatar action in no time and das, AVATIRED, is gut.

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