My Mom’s Wisdom on Her 40th Anniversary

Deep Friendship: The Key to Long Lasting Marriage

4 Lessons from 40 years

Stu Gray
The Dove
Published in
4 min readAug 22, 2023

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Married couple from Wichita Kansas. 1969
Photo from the Author

We sat in a small wooden chapel on the Tan-Tar-A resort in central Missouri. Mom and I had a couple minutes to talk before everyone arrived.

It was a celebration of family and a renewing of marriage vows.

  • Mom and Dad Celebrated 40 years.
  • Grandma and Grandpa celebrated 63 years.
  • And our extended family had come to spend time together, celebrate and vacation at the Lake of the Ozarks.

What Makes a Great Marriage?

I said to mom, “What do you think the secret is to you and Dad’s marriage lasting? How did you make it to 40 years together?”

She thought for a moment. Then:

“You know, it’s all about deep friendship with your spouse. You could go out and “have sex” with anybody, but your friendship carries you through all things. Your Dad is a good man. One of the best. I love him and he supports me in all my (sometimes) crazy ideas. (she laughed) But we care about one another and want the best for each other.”

How do you cultivate deep friendship with your spouse?

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Stu Gray
The Dove

I encourage challenge and inspire married couples to have STUPENDOUS marriages! https://stupendousmarriage.com/signup