I’m So Proud of My Humbleness. Can You Have Self-Esteem and Humbleness at the Same Time?
We all want our parents to be proud of us. And we want a life we can be proud of as well. A healthy self esteem is part of a good mind set. We are told over and over again that we ought to love our selves and be proud of who we are. But for christians, things get a little confusing when it comes to pride.
This is because humbleness is suppose to be the christian’s default setting. How does being humble fit in with self-esteem?
Here are a few examples of some of the difficulties:
The self-esteem gurus tell us that we should strongly affirm ourselves and who we are, but Jesus taught that we should strong deny ourselves, even to the point of allowing our ego be crucified (Matthew 16:24). Our self-esteem culture teaches us that we should love ourselves above everyone else, but the Bible teaches us that we should love others above ourselves (Philippians 2:3). There is even a list in the Bible ( 2 Timothy 3: 2) of evil things that includes “lovers of self”.
But this is just the tip of the iceberg. The Bible’s teaching of the doctrine of humility is directly opposed to our modern culture of self engrandizment. A full description of what the Bible teaches about humbleness is not within the parameters of this article, but biblical humbleness seems incompatible with the over exaggerated selfie culture we live in.
Is there a problem with Self-Esteem Psychology?
Yes, there actually is. But it’s difficult to criticize anything related to psychology because the christian community has become more concerned with following the sciences that following the truth. Let me explain.
Along with scientific studies, modern psychology also offers a set of faith based values of its own. These values are humanistic and completely opperate as if God does not exist. One example, but there are others, is that psychology elevates humans as being innately good. Psychology teaches us that on the inside, all people are naturally good. There is always something from the outside of the person that is the reason for the psychological ruin of the individual.
Of course, the christian doctrine of sin tends to say the opposite. Every human being is born a sinner, and it is this sin nature that so horribly reacts to everything outside the individual.
Another problem is that society has elevated psychology to religion status. So when someone faces any life crises they turn to psychology. And in some cases, it is a religious turning. Psychology provides a cause and consequence narrative, guiding principles, and truths. In other words, psychology substituted religion. And for many, psychology is their religion.
So what is the Christian answer?
Just like the issues of evolution and a Creator God, the issues of psychology and biblical humbleness has produced all sorts of acrobatic reasoning in attempts to make both functional. Christians have come up with very creative answers to all this and in some cases, even canceled some biblical principles in order to make room for psychology.
One answer is that humility and self-esteem are compatible. Normally along with this answer comes an honest effort in harmonizing the “You are worthy” attitude of self-esteem with biblical texts like Luke 18: 13–14.
Another common response is this rational: If God loves you, then of course you have an amazing self worth. Matthew 6: 26 clearly states that to God, people are worth more than birds! I would agree that the God of the Bible certainly values people, and I full heartily believe that Jesus loves me so much he died on the cross for me. However, I think this reasoning says more about God than it supports self-esteem psychology. It seems to point to the amazing goodness of God rather than the innate goodness of humans.
So, are christians supposed to hate themselves?
Of course not. Christians understand that being a person is a privileged position in God’s creation. And although christians rather “love others” than “love yourself”, we celebrate the wonderful changes Gods does to our character and all the improvements to our inner being.
There is gratefulness and a sense of thanksgiving when we think about ourselves.
We also understand our need of validation, especially when faced with difficult situations. A church community that encourages us and values our personhood is extremely helpful. All this has the ability to positively transform the way we look at ourselves.
And as we feel God’s love for us, we marvel at God’s amazing grace. And it is amazing not because we are self-worthy and deserve God’s love. It is amazing because as unworthy as we are because of our sins, God’s goodness still reaches out to us and offers love.
So, what do we do with Self-Esteem Psychology?
That’s actually a really good question. What do you think?
