Why Marriage Is Not For Me (Yet)
Your purpose is much more significant than your relationship status.
Throughout life we are actively learning new things, both consciously and subconsciously. In adulthood, there’s a point when some of those subconscious belief systems catch up to us and we realize the leg we’ve been standing on is faulty somehow.
For me, one of those things was the pedestal of marriage.
From a young age, I was taught that marriage was an honorable thing to desire and something to actively prepare for through the cultivation of good habits and morals. While this was not a bad foundation to build from it led me to believe marriage was the ultimate goal.
Having a successful career, living in a new city, going on adventures, and exploring the world were all great things, however all secondary to marriage. In my mind’s eye, I assumed I would find my person in college and get married shortly after graduation; I didn’t question this vision for my life.
During college though, God began to work in my heart in big ways by challenging and dismantling this way of thinking. I remember it being disorienting and even a bit scary at times, but ultimately extremely liberating.
At the time, it was a huge realization for me to recognize that God had uniquely designed me and had a purpose for me in life that was so much bigger than only being married. It was like the Lord kicked open the door of my narrow mind to say, “I have so much more for you!”
Coming to terms with this truth was a game changer for me and suddenly the idol of marriage could no longer hold a candle to God’s good purpose for me.
I realized that my narrow way of thinking was a kind of bondage keeping me from living my life to the fullest and for God’s glory. I was living for myself. I thank the Lord for kindly opening my eyes and preparing me to embrace his good purposes for me.
I still hope to be married and have a family one day. This is a desire I continually put before the Lord in prayer and I’m hopeful one day I will see those hopes fulfilled.
The difference is the desire for marriage no longer has a chokehold on me. My sense of purpose is no longer wrapped up in my relationship status and I have learned what it means to be content in this season. It’s not always easy, but I have found so much joy and peace in choosing to please the Lord with my life and to be faithful with what He’s put in front of me.
I pray you experience the peace that comes from being freed of ourselves.
I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. (Philippians 4:11–12, NIV)
