An Executive’s Guide to Eating a Boxed Lunch

We’ve all participated in three hour work meetings where a boxed lunch is served.

Breaking bread with colleagues in this setting is a challenge. A boxed lunch in particular invites awkward situations and trade offs between manners and the desire to focus on eating.

Here are some recommendations based on my own experience:

Don’t hate the person with superior manners.

You know the type: they fold their napkin in a perfect square, line up their potato chips in sequence, and stay entirely clean, organized and composed throughout the meal. This person did not grow up eating family dinners on TV trays while watching M*A*S*H reruns, which makes them officially less interesting than you.

Use of the mayonnaise packet is a personal decision.

I always squeeze all of the mayo on my sandwich. I’m aware that they will judge. I might also get some on my fingers or the side of my mouth, which will be noted. I’m willing to take that chance.

No trades.

It’s likely your boxed lunch has plain old potato chips and an oatmeal raisin cookie. Everyone else got barbecue or jalapeno chips with a warm chocolate chip cookie. I’m aware that you are frustrated because this always happens.

Yes, a flavored potato chip would be delicious and just what you need to spice up that dry turkey sandwich. But at least your fingers won’t be covered in flavor chemicals.

Regarding the cookie — I don’t know what to say — you got screwed. But don’t ask to trade with someone. They will feel obligated to do so and will hate you for life.

Beware of the fruit.

The last thing anyone eats in their boxed lunch is the fruit. To be honest, you might consider skipping the fruit entirely.

If you eat the fruit, then you’ve eaten everything and it’s an open question whether you would have kept on eating if more food had been made available like a container of potato salad, a packet of hummus or some string cheese.

Let’s face it, eating a little fruit cup with small-cut melons puts you in a weakened position.

Whole fruit presents its own problems. Peeling a banana and eating it bite by bite like a chimpanzee? Better think twice. Taking a bite out of a big juicy apple and spraying it all over the room? Save it for the weekend.

Once you are done eating, it’s important to gather up all the detritus as soon as possible. You don’t want to be the last person with your head buried in dirty food wrappers looking for chip fragments while everyone else has restarted their white boarding.

It’s much better for your brand to be among the first people to finish eating. Then you can carefully wipe your mouth with a napkin remnant, take a long pull of Diet Coke and jump back into the discussion with a relevant comment as if nothing happened.

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