Getting Physical at Fifty One Years Old
Chloe woke up at 5:20AM this morning, ran downstairs, and started barking at the racoons in our trash can. I didn’t know this at the time. I just heard the barking downstairs. This was concerning because she’d also bark that way if an intruder entered our home with a crowbar and a psychotic urge for revenge against strangers. Chloe doesn’t usually go crazy barking like that.
So I jumped out of bed and headed down there. What, exactly, would I have done if there was a man in our home? This person would be much more alert than me, and he’d be fully dressed most likely. I was in my boxers. I wonder if I’d run back upstairs to alert the others and look for a weapon, or hide; or whether I’d try to tackle this person on the spot.
Since the memory of me feeling half awake is still fresh as I write this, my gut tells me I’d run back upstairs. (God help me, I hope I’d do more than hide). If, on the other hand, I were fully dressed and awake, and the man didn’t have a crowbar and was about my size, then honestly, there is some chance that I’d engage with him physically right there. Though I can’t be sure.
I’ve been in situations over the course of my adult life where I was in some kind of disagreement with a strange man in a public place and my feelings of being put-upon and in the right made physical engagement a possibility and something that a part of me yearned for. I can’t recall any of these specific situations and it hasn’t happened recently, but I know they’ve happened. At the time, and still now, I felt like I could take this person. Deep down I know I have a pit of resentment (not the exact right word) and moxy that is nowhere to be seen in my normal interactions, thankfully. But, it bears pondering, perhaps this other man in my imagined fist fight, would have the same exact well of masculine rage that he would pull on if things got physical.
Another factor is age. I’m 51 years old. Sounds old when I write it, but I don’t feel any less formidable physically than I have in the past. Will I feel the same way in ten years? At what age does a man’s instinct have them begging for mercy rather than beating the shit out of the person who has broken into their home? If movies are any guide, the strategy when you are an old guy is to outsmart the criminal rather than overpower them, though I doubt that ever works. However, I do recall that Paul Pelosi was able to call the cops before being assaulted by that crazy guy who broke into his home. There was some indication that he had to be clever to do that. Respect.
Final thought. While I feel pretty certain I would fight another man under the right circumstances if I was feeling good physically, I can’t imagine doing so if I had the stomach flu or a fever of any sort. I’m thinking now about movies where our handcuffed protagonist is being forced to walk alongside a wagon towards some jungle prison while delirious from malaria. My instinct tells me I couldn’t do it, that I’d just drop and let them kill me there. In other words, I’d be below-average in the courage department if I was already feeling crappy in some way. I can live with that.
