The Five Stages of No One Reading Your Medium Story
Once I wrote a story that had 200 reads. And I was happy. Once I wrote a story that had 1K reads. And I was so happy. Once I wrote a story that had 16K and counting reads. And oh I was happy. And now I have written a story that had 24 reads. And I am oh so oh so mad.
Medium, is it already over? Do I have to go back to Facebook? Do I have to start telling stories about how stupid Ev is? I don’t know. It’s feeling that way. How could you have all loved me so quickly and forgotten me so fast? I thought that was only supposed to happen in high school.
Yes, I’m angry. Yes, I want to never look at you again, Medium. But first and foremost I am a writer. So for my brothers and sisters still writing away, here is what it’s like when you crash from the heights to the lowest of the lows.
Step One: Denial
Medium is somehow broken. A friend said my story didn’t show up in her feed. It’s the holidays. No one is reading Medium. Tomorrow it will all be like it always was. I will wake up and I will have 100 glorious recommends.
Step Two: Anger
Medium sucks. Facebook’s new product is going to kick its ass. I’m going back to Facebook. My friends are there. Medium people are NOT my friends. Ev should give it up. Twitter sucked in short form. Now this. Whatever. I am too talented for this.
Step Three: Bargaining
Maybe if I’m really good and finish all my real work, I will be rewarded with interest in my Medium work. If I do that, maybe Medium will love me again. Maybe if I find 20 new people with stories to recommend, those people will recommend me. If I saw something nice about Ev and really mean it, maybe his staff will like me again.
Step Four: Depression
My stories suck. Nobody cares about me and my kids. My kids just aren’t that cute. And I’m super boring. I’m even bringing my husband Dan Conway’s numbers down. He says since he responded as my husband to my big piece, his numbers have plummeted too. Nobody cares about our lives. Guess we should just go crawl in a corner somewhere and watch Cheers reruns.
Step Five: Acceptance
It’s OK. So, Medium might not be the way I find my place in the world. I have a nice job in PR. Who cares if my novel never gets published. I have a lovely family. This is how it is all meant to be. Maybe I can take up knitting. It’s OK.
So that’s how it feels. Happy holidays, Medium. I still love you, even if you don’t love me.
