Descriptions of Combat Actions Limited to Haikus
“I don’t have a problem with using the syllable structure, and I’m glad he’s not making us use a kireji, but it does get very difficult to work in a reference to a season in every single one”
Local dungeon master, Fred Deitel, has instituted a “haiku only” rule for describing player characters’ actions in combat. The new rule comes in response to increasing description lengths from the players themselves, Deitel tells The Dungeon Tribune. “I want the players to have fun, and for many players giving colorful descriptions of attacks and killing blows is part of that fun,” says Deitel. “but its gotten out of hand.”
Deitel refers to a description of a ranged attack that has since debuted off-broadway as a 3 act play. “I’ll admit that maybe I went to far with ‘Crossbow Bolt Fired at a Goblin’ as an in-game description, but I will say that I’m very proud of my story about a small time crossbow bolt that moves to the big city to pursue its dreams of puncturing a goblin’s heart.” Says player Erin Kennof. “We’re in negotiations regarding the film rights as well.”
Since then other players have adapted their descriptions into screenplays, television pilots, and an original streaming stand-up special. “I do think it’s getting too serious,” comments Kennof. “It seems like now you can’t even pitch a combat description adapted into a web series unless you have a whole show bible to go with it.”
Deitel believes the rule limiting the length of player’s descriptions has to be implemented now to prevent further escalation. “I knew it the moment I saw a player reading ‘Finnegan’s Wake.’ I have to draw the line somewhere.”
Many of the players have no problem with the limited length of the descriptions, and realize they can still develop projects outside the game, but have found difficulty in other areas. “I don’t have a problem with using the syllable structure, and I’m glad he’s not making us use a kireji, but it does get very difficult to work in a reference to a season in every single attack,” says Kennof. “How many times can I compare Fireball to a scorching summer sun and get away with it?”
Still, one of Kennof’s haikus, titled “Great Axe”, has been published in the New Yorker.
“My great axe strikes true
Like winter’s frost it cuts deep
Ten slashing damage”
For some players, though, the change has had the added side-effect of forcing them into other parts of the game. “We can’t just stay in endless combat anymore,” says Mus Gretberg. “I’m kinda angry I have to explore and solve puzzles.”
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