Dungeon Monsters Ignore Obvious Signs of Fighting in Next Room
“I don’t care how obvious it is that my fellow monsters are being killed, and that they’re probably coming for our room next, I’m staying put.”
Despite the sounds of swords clashing and spells casting, the monsters of room 306 decided today to pretend like nothing was going on in room 307B, a room with which they share a very thin wall. “This is the room that the evil sorcerer Abomesht put me in, and this is the room that I’m going to stay in.” says resident goblin Crum Crum. “I don’t care how obvious it is that my fellow monsters are being killed, and that they’re probably coming for our room next, I’m staying put.” “Frankly, it’s none of my business” comments fellow goblin Klurps. “If they wanted our help, how come they are screaming out for help in Common?”
Other monsters in the room have their doubts that the noise is combat, though. “Maybe it is fighting, but I can’t rule out that it’s a trap set up by adventurers to lure us in, or a test set up by the floor supervisor to see if we’d leave our station.” says long time 306er and bugbear Gruthers. “For all I know it could just be some ghosts who moved in. Do you want to go over there to see if it’s ghosts?” Later research revealed that the ghosts were in room 305 and were not the source of the noise.
Even those who believe that the noises are conflict have their reasons for not investigating. “I worked hard and spent a lot of time in some terrible rooms to make it here. I started out in 104 (a former alchemy lab they couldn’t de-odor), got promoted to 283 before they turned it into a puzzle room, and was even in secret room 4 for a cup of coffee, back when that meant something. Why would I leave?” says newcomer to room 306 and hobgoblin, Girt. “If I’m gonna be massacred by a group of adventurers that consider us an easy encounter, I want it to be here. I don’t want anyone to think I had anything to do with those guys in 307, it’s a filler room.” Status is indeed a strong motivator in The Dungeon of Awful Evil, as a source who wishes to remain anonymous told The Dungeon Tribune: “You leave your room, you’re no better than a random encounter.”
But not everyone in the dungeon is as committed to isolation. Urt, an Elder Brain in room 516, favors a united approach. “Like, I get that we can’t all be in the same room at the same time, we need separate rooms to sleep in, of course. But it makes much more sense to attack adventurers at the same time.” Urt is still in the minority however, as many of the dungeon’s denizens don’t understand his wisdom, which is a 19 under 5th edition rules. “We should do the right thing to defend our foul overlord.”
Local adventurer and wizard, Mont Grizzlyriver has mixed feelings. “On one hand, it means less monsters we have to fight at a time. But on the other hand, I do like casting Fireball on large groups of monsters.”
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