Evil Wizard Wonders if Dungeon Design is Fair to Adventurers

“Yeah, I could design one room that will kill everyone as soon as they enter, but is that the type of evil wizard I want to be?”

benny
The Dungeon Tribune
3 min readJul 2, 2024

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Construction has ground to a halt on the big hill south of town as local conjurer of the arcane and architect of vile schemes, Oluter Gollusdo, is rethinking the design of his 15 level super-dungeon. “I’m having second thoughts about the design, and whether it is a fair challenge to people trying to kill me and take my treasure” admits Gollusdo. “Yeah, I could design one room that will kill everyone as soon as they enter, but is that the type of evil wizard I want to be?” Gollusdo continued “If a group of adventurers is that dedicated to ending my existence, I feel like I have to at least give them a chance.”

Dungeon and tower contractor, and townsperson with seemingly no other source of income, Tobial Stonestrong, notes that this is a trend within the heinous spell caster community. “They’re always telling me ‘make sure its survivable if they have a good strategy’ and asking for traps that can be escaped if the victim has a creative solution” laments Stonestrong. “I have to charge extra for stuff like that. It would be much more cost effective to just make the traps deadly.” After years of dealing with morally questionable clients, Stonestrong is still struggling to maintain his artistic integrity. “Every once in while I sneak in a pretty deadly puzzle, and then they go and write some dumb poem that gives the adventurers hints. Like, why do I even bother?”

The trend in making dungeons less deadly is not completely based on designer sentiment, though. “Part of the change in deadliness is the result of Guild policy,” says retired necromancer and current mayor-elect, Braith Wurtmarrow. “(The Guild of Grim Conclusions) made a deal with (The Union of Henchmen, Monsters, and Cobblers) that every dungeon would include some weak monsters along with the strong ones.” The agreement reduces the average power of monsters in new dungeons, making them far less likely to reach the death and dismemberment numbers of the dungeons of yesteryear. Wurtmarrow also notes that the agreement includes provisions that state new dungeons have to be big enough that anyone exploring it would require new shoes afterward.

Older dungeons have been grandfathered in and are exempt from the new restrictions, increasing their property value and causing major changes in the dungeon market. A standard 3 level, 4 pitrap 3 bathroom has doubled in value in some locales.

Property values aren’t the only unintended change of having weaker monsters. “The crazy thing is that killing the weak monsters earlier seems to help adventurers kill the stronger ones later on,” notes Dungeon Anthropologist Havish Stoutshore. “It’s almost like they’re gaining some sort of experience.” As for Havish’s recommendations to would-be evil-doers, its pretty simple: “Get one of those signs that say ‘My neighbor doesn’t believe in monsters, go adventure in their dungeon’.”

Gollusdo, however, has his own solution. “I’m going to do some simulations before I decide to go forward with the project. The only thing I need is a realistic combat system that is easy to learn and has rules that cover every possible action an adventurer could make. Shouldn’t be too difficult.”

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benny
The Dungeon Tribune

Writer for dungeontribune.com, The Evil Dragon’s Most Trusted News Source (@dungeontribune). @bennyelbows on X